Four Dollar Gas

Boring Weekend. But that is Nice.

2012-01-29T15:27:00.000-05:00

I am currently waiting for my girlfriend to fly back home. While I kill time, I'm watching some TV. One show I found is called "Property Virgins" and it's insane. In three episodes, every one has featured houses over half a million dollars and the people weren't happy with them because they weren't big enough. One single woman was looking for 3+ bedrooms. She was single but wanted a huge house.

Granted, I bought a 3 bedroom house but it was also small and affordable. I wasn't looking for a mini-mansion for my stuff.

Anyway, enough of that. The show annoys me.

I just did my taxes and I should be getting back enough to have the water heater installed by someone else. I think I'm going to use that to justify it. Tomorrow afternoon or Tuesday, I'll go and get that arranged. I did nothing this weekend. It was good.

I did play some poker and just relaxed. It was fantastic.

Confession Time: I Try and Ignore Problems and Hope They Go Away

2012-01-26T09:52:00.000-05:00

Today I got in my car and my "check engine" light was off. This isn't because I fixed the problem. And the light may come back on soon. I ignored the problem in the hopes that it would go away. This seems to have worked this time. I suspected, from the error code and what I had done before (over-filling the reservoir, may be related. I meant to empty some of the coolant and see if that stopped the problem. I never did. I know my car is leaking coolant and it must have leaked enough to be below the over-filled level. Today the light was off. We'll see if it stays off.

I still haven't bought a new water heater. I know I should have. I took the money out of my emergency fund for it already. But I never got around to buying it. I am worried because the person I want to help me install it is constantly busy. So I might have to just get it installed professionally, which will double the cost.

I was out in the garage last night and there is a puddle all around the washer and the water heater. This can't be good. As much as I want a spending freeze, I am going to have to get that taken care of. It's getting worse and it's not going to resolve itself. I hate to pay someone almost $500 to install a new one but I am worried that not fixing it soon will cause the washer to start rusting. That will cost me more than $500 right there.

I don't think I've repaired my Cr-48 either. I am still getting errors. They "appear" to be drive errors but that seems unlikely (especially since it's the same location as before). I hope it's not something unrepairable (like an error on the motherboard relating to drive communications).

In Desperate Need of a Spending Freeze

2012-01-25T08:59:00.001-05:00

We have spent so much in the past month that my head is spinning. I know we needed to spend money on that fence but that is not the half of it, literally. This month, as of this day, we've spent a combined $9,165 through my accounts. That includes all my normal spending plus what my girlfriend has put on her card. We do not take home $100k a year! We can't exactly sustain that sort of spending.

OK, we don't buy a new fence every month and this month actually has a lot of "special" event spending. For example, my girlfriend is paying for two of her friends to fly down and visit her in March. She has been planning this for months now and this month she bought both the tickets because the price was good. Her parents also just moved down here and then her brother came down to visit. They all went to Disney and those tickets went on her card. They gave her the cash for the tickets but it still shows up on my spending. That's $1,200 on vacation and travel just this month!

They also have been going out to eat a lot. And we ate at Disney too. Somehow, our food spending this month is approaching $900! And I know she's going to Universal today with her family and will eat there too. Now, this isn't "my" problem because she pays me for everything on her card. In fact, she's given me the majority of the money I need to pay off these expenses. But it still shows up on my budget in mint and it causes me anxiety because it's way out of the ordinary.

So yeah, I am feeling the need to just not spend anything until I feel more in control of things. It isn't even like things are that out of control. The spending from this month is almost all paid off. There is about 1.5k still to be paid off on the credit cards but the money is there for when I send the payments.

I haven't been able to pay down the savings loan enough because my girlfriend has been focusing her extra money at all these expenses. That gets on my nerves but things will improve.

It's a New Year and a New Semester, What Will You Do Differently?

2012-01-24T10:09:00.000-05:00

I started my class off by asking this question this morning. The answer, as of right now, appears to be nothing. They're still consistently off task and not working together.

What am I going to do differently this year?

I am going to be more consistent on tracking my calories and staying closer to my goal amount.

I am going to put grades in as soon as reasonably possible. And I am going to make sure my lesson plans are in and up to date. This is a pain because when we get behind or I have to change things, I need to go back and edit my plans. For example, on Friday, I did a lesson on writing essays instead of our Social Studies work. My students did really poorly on an essay based assignment and needed to practice and get some feedback. It wasn't in my original plans. I need to go back and revise my plans to show what we actually did.

I am going to repay the loan I took from my savings. At the moment, it's been paid back a little but I haven't been able to put anything else towards it because of the various credit card bills that come due right at the end of the month. The end of the month is huge, three credit cards and the two mortgages come out all within a week. A full bank account dives right back down to nearly nothing. I have the money but until everything is accounted for, I don't like to move things around too much.

I am also going to work harder on ignoring my coworker. It's very hard because she doesn't make ignoring her easy. She makes my job so much harder (both to do and to prepare for). For example, I spent Thursday night preparing my writing lesson for Friday. I work with a specific group of kids and she works with the other. I planned to work with my group and got the materials and lesson prepared for that number. When she overheard me starting the lesson, she jumping in and wanted her students to do it also. This took up extra time for them to get ready and I didn't have everything for them. And then, she was arguing with me--in front of the students--about how I was teaching a specific thing because for her group of kids something else was expected. Well, I'm SORRY... I didn't prepare this lesson for your kids!

Calm... be calm... you can do this Kevin... you will survive... deep breaths.

Interesting Cracked Article on Habits Poverty Teaches

2012-01-20T09:55:00.001-05:00

Just a heads up, I edited some of the titles to make the language less offensive. When I was growing up, we went through some tough times. After my parents separated, my mom was doing everything she could to scrape by and we were definitely poor. So it's interesting to see how these things relate to me.

Here's a link to the article so you can see for yourself.

The 5 habits listed are:
#5. You Develop a Taste for [Bad] Food
#4. Extra Money Has to Be Spent Right [. . .] Now!
#3. You Want to Go Overboard on Gift-Giving
#2. You Become an Obsessive Bean-Counter
#1. You Only Spend with the Short Term in Mind

#5. You Develop a Taste for [Bad] Food
Well, this does apply to me. I happen to love vegetables and various things but I also admit that I do like frozen garbage too. How can I even argue this when my "diet" to lose weight includes ample application of Banquet TV dinners? That said we didn't eat too much garbage food when I was younger.

I do tend to stock-pile nonperishables. I have 20+ pounds of rice and maybe 10 pounds of various dried beans in my pantry. I tend to buy things on sale and stockpile those things that last a long time. I also rarely buy fresh vegetables because they don't last.

#4. Extra Money Has to Be Spent Right [. . .] Now!
This is one I don't exactly suffer from. I tend to try and keep as large a reserve as possible to avoid the worst. At the same time, I do sometimes spend on ridiculous things that I probably didn't need to spend money on. For example, my $700 bike that I rarely ride. I could have probably saved that money or found a cheaper bike. I also used to be worse with this. I was a computer hardware junkie. I would spend any savings I had on computers.

I finally cleared out my stockpile of old computers (well most of them) and parts. I brought it down to the recycling center that takes them. The person there hinted that they only take household and not business waste without a charge. I had to assure him that these really were from my own house. It's worse because these were all obtained when I was single. They were just for me. At one time, in my house, I had 4 computers running pretty much all the time (2 were 24/7)... I lived ALONE!

#3. You Want to Go Overboard on Gift-Giving
I do see this a little in myself. I do like to give a bit more than I should. But I really see it in my girlfriend. She insists on having annual passes to a certain theme park for her, her son, any now me because she wants him to experience that. She spends more on gifts for him than she probably should.

#2. You Become an Obsessive Bean-Counter
I'm guilty of this one. If that wasn't obvious. I know where all my money is at all times and where it is going. I check my mint account several times a day and get worried if I haven't. I can't deny this one at all. Pretty much everything is spot on. I don't think I developed this as a child but more as a poor college student. I was so close to the edge, that I needed to know where every cent was going.

#1. You Only Spend with the Short Term in Mind
This is also one that is semi-true for me at times. My water heater is getting terribly close to the end of its life but I still haven't bought the replacement. If I keep putting it off, I'll end up paying more for a quicker installation because the old one will have failed underneath me.

Where it isn't true is bulk purchasing. I try and buy everything in bulk. I pay my car insurance 6 months at a time to save money. I try and do things as cheaply as possible.

Bonus Story:
Reading this reminded me of an event that happened when I was a kid. If you read the article, you'll find the part that brought this to mind but I am at work and can't reread it now.

I needed a sleeping bag for a camping trip I was going on with a group. I remember my mom went out and found a sleeping bag that was perfect (in the sense that it was rated for the temps, clean, and functional) and she got a great deal on it. I knew she got it for a good price and was happy about that. The problem was, it was hideous. I was sick to my stomach because I knew I didn't want to bring this sleeping bag on the trip and suffer the humiliation I was sure to face. I also knew how much my mom struggled to find the money, even for this bag, and didn't want to tell her I needed "better."

I knew how tight things were and asking for a luxury item or for a better looking item, to replace a functional item, was just selfish and cruel. I remember being in the car, staring out the window, in miserable silence for what seemed like hours before I finally broke and confessed to my mom that I didn't want the sleeping bag she bought me. I told her I needed a better one.

My mom did get me a better one. I don't know how but she did. And I went on the trip and everything was fine. But I felt horrible about it. Even now, thinking back, I feel horrible about "demanding" a more expensive thing just to avoid being teased.

Anyway, that's your uplifting story of the day. ;-)

When Free Costs You Money

2012-01-19T14:33:00.000-05:00

Last year, I mentioned that I was selected to be a Chromeos beta tester and received a Cr-48 netbook free from Google.

This post was profoundly uninteresting to everyone so I am not surprised if you forgot about it. But I have had the netbook for a year or so now.

A couple months ago, it started to randomly reboot and give me an error message stating that I needed to restore the OS. I was able to reboot the computer, most of the time, and it eventually worked again. But that was a harbinger of things to come. It was also pretty clear that the problem was likely hardware flaking out. I suspected over-heating or the hard drive was failing.

Over the last few weeks, it's gotten worse. It got to the point where I figured that the computer couldn't get any more broken so I could officially geek-out with it. I flipped it over into developer mode and installed Ubuntu Linux on it.

Now, when Chromeos experiences an error, it instantly reboots and tries to reset itself. You don't get a lot of feedback about what is causing the problem. But with Linux, I could see the heaps of drive related errors and even installing it was nearly impossible because the disk randomly flaked out.

I have 2 options here. I could just give this netbook up to the scrapheap. This is the cheapest method but also the most wasteful. This is still a good little computer and it seems horrible to throw the whole thing out just because of a bad drive.

The other option is to replace the drive. It doesn't take a standard disk drive. It takes an mSATA SSD device. I could get a normal 500GB drive for $99 but only a 64GB drive for that price for the netbook. They're not cheap. The one I am replacing is only 16GB ($39.99 for that). I decided to go a little larger and bring it up to 32GB ($59.99). I also needed a 4GB usb thumb drive for the restore image ($9.99) and the shipping to get it here ($7.50). Suddenly my "free" netbook is costing me $77.48.

I ended up ordering it. I'm going to repair this netbook and keep it around for a while. I have grown attached to the thing. Plus, when I have it set up to run Linux, it's even nicer.

Today was the Worst Day in a Long Time

2012-01-17T20:49:00.000-05:00

Today was a very bad day for me.

Computer Problems
I went to work and they were having major network problems. Some computers were working but the majority were down. As it so happened, I was one of the chosen few. You would think this was a good thing but you'd be wrong. You see, my coteacher was not one of the golden children. Her computer was down. I was trying to get ready for the day and she was trying to get me to fix her computer. I was trying to help her, as much as I could, while also getting my stuff ready.

Remember: it is not my job to fix computer problems at work. While I am known as a computer person, there is no part of my job description which requires me to help other people. I do it because I can. It quickly became apparent that whatever was broken was outside the realm of what I could fix. I tried to explain this to my coteacher. But she was having none of it.

My computer was working! Obviously, I was intentionally not fixing her computer! Or I would have been able to fix it if I would just focus on her problem for a minute and stop doing what ever it was that I was working on!

Breaking the Cardinal Rules
I have a few rules in my class that I require my students to obey.

Don't Get Mr. [Redacted] Sick.
Do Your Best to Make Mr. [Redacted] Happy.
Don't Embarrass Mr. [Redacted] Outside the Classroom.

I admit, these aren't your standard rules and I don't keep them posted but I do explain them to my students. I explain to them that following these three rules will make their lives a lot better. If I am sick, I am miserable but will probably come in to work anyway and we'll just do fewer exciting and fun things. If I'm not happy, I'm less likely to want to do fun things or let them get away with minor things. When I am happy, I want to do my best to make them happy too. I'm sure you get the general idea.

Today, we had a group of guest speakers come in and talk to my class and two other classes. Some of my students decided to ignore the presenter and just talk to each other and joke during it. The presenter had to stop several times and redirect them. Then they were caught passing notes. And not one of my students would volunteer or participate in any activities without being forced. It was horribly embarrassing for me as a teacher and I think a few of them were embarrassed too.

So that made my mood even worse.

Recess Ends With an Ambulance Ride
The kids are allowed to "Fantasy Football" during recess. This is a version where throwing is the most important skill. Once you have the ball, you're not allowed to run and no one is allowed to touch you. This is to prevent injuries. The kids like it so much that the grades have decided to do a league thing where kids keep score of recess games and keep the same teams and eventually the best teams will compete in a tournament.

This league idea was introduced last week before the kids went home. Remember, this is just adding tracking to keep scores and doesn't change anything. One of my lovely students interpreted the new "rules" to mean that tackling was now allowed!

So he proceeds to dive tackle the legs out from under a kid who just caught the ball. Other kids are running around and with two bodies suddenly on the ground, someone trips and proceeds to land right on the back of the tackled student's head/neck region. The student was badly hurt and eventually we had administrators and a nurse out there. With the way things had played out and the pain the student was stating her was experiencing, no one felt comfortable moving him.

An ambulance was called and they put him in a neck brace and onto a board to stabilize his back and neck. Then it was off to the ER for him. I received word, by the end of the day, that the student had sprained his neck. At least it wasn't broken!

Nothing Gets Done All Afternoon
My class was unfocused and unable to get anything done all afternoon. Tomorrow, we're not having recess. We'll be finishing the work we needed to do today.

My Diet Did Not Go Well Today
My girlfriend's brother is in town. We met up with then and ended up going out to eat. I had far too many calories today. Nobody's fault but mine. I'm still not happy about it.

Bringing Back Dinner

2012-01-16T08:58:00.001-05:00

I have come to realize that I generally prefer to have a really large meal at some point in the day. Now, this is typically later in the evening because that's just how things work out. But, when I move it to around noon-two in the afternoon, it works out a lot better for me. So if I eat a small breakfast (or none at all) and have the vast majority of my calories (80-85% of them) in the middle of the day, and then have a small snack in the evening, I end up feeling less hungry even if I consume the same amount of calories.

Today was the first weigh in for the 10lb challenge. The weekend wasn't great for me but that's good because it gives me a nice high amount to start with. I was 170.6 this morning on the scale. That means I have 12 weeks to get under 160.6--which shouldn't be too hard. I think one thing I'm going to work on is planning my main meal of the day to be in the middle.

This might be harder with work. Either I need to pack more for lunch or I need a small breakfast and then wait until I get home. I get home pretty early (before 4pm) so it's possible to have a big meal right then. But I do, usually, have a 45 minute break around 12:30 each day so I do have time to eat.

I'm not sure how I'm going to work it out but it helps a lot. Spreading things out evenly just doesn't work as well for me.

I have paid off over $42,000 in credit card debt.

2012-01-14T22:18:00.002-05:00

It's true! I have paid off over $42,000 in credit card debt!

But no one is going to care or consider it impressive. No one is going to ask me how I've done it or what I changed in my life to accomplish such a feat. Why? Because I've never carried a balance or paid any interest. While I have paid off $42,426.09 in credit card charges, it was on a month by month basis and never exceeded what I could pay off entirely when the statement cut.

I currently have balance of just over $2,500 for this month. They'll be paid at the end. It's been a crazy month for charges. But that's fine because the money is there waiting to pay the cards off already.

It amazes me how much money I have charged on my credit cards. At the same time, it also shows me why it is good that I have been using them. In all likelihood, I would have spent the same amount of money over the time period where I used my credit cards. I would have spent the same amount. But thanks to using my cards, I have gotten hundreds of dollars in cash back or statement credits. There is a benefit to using them correctly.

I admit, though, that I can't wait until the next month or so is past and my balances are back to normal because I won't be doing any big project that month. I want a nice $800-$900 average month again or even less.

Happy Friday the 13th!

2012-01-13T10:53:00.002-05:00

I am not a superstitious person so today is just another day to me. If I was superstitious, though, I would have cause to be today. Let me tell you a very short story.

For breakfast, lately, I have been having two scrambled eggs with a little bit of cheese. This works out to 200 calories and I like it. Every morning I go to the fridge, take out the eggs, and sort of toss them on the counter while I get the cheese. Not a huge toss but I generally don't place them there gently either. It's like a 4-6 inch lateral toss from an inch above the counter. It's not a big deal.

This morning I reach into the fridge. I grab the carton of eggs, like normal. But then, without thinking, I proceed to toss it halfway across the kitchen. I wasn't throwing it "at" anything. I don't know what I was thinking. I just lobbed it, without looking, towards the stove (which is at the opposite corner from my fridge). I didn't even process, mentally, what I had just done until I heard the carton hit the floor and that woke me up out of my stupor.

What the heck was I thinking?!?!? There's nothing in my fridge that I would throw like that so it's not like I was acting out some common method I used for a different ingredient! What a way to start my Friday the 13th. Now, if I was superstitious, I probably would have seen this as a bad thing. As it was, I actually was pretty happy with the end result. Of the 8 eggs, only five of them broke and none were smashed. The five were just cracked bad enough that I felt "obligated" to use them immediately.

Instead of being a horrible start to my day. This was an excuse to have a decadent 5 egg omelet for breakfast. Well, it became scrambled eggs because none of my pans are big enough to really make an omelet that huge. I threw in some onions and got them all fried up and still kept a slice of cheese. It was somewhere in the range of 400-450 calories (I called it 450 to be safe) for breakfast. But why not? I can fit that into my calorie limit for the day and I enjoyed it.

So yeah, I had a good, albeit, weird start to my day. I still have no idea what was going through my head when I decided to just toss the carton of eggs over my shoulder.

Now, on to more important business. My fence is done!

I know it's hard to see with that shrubbery obscuring the view but this is my new fence. The city came by yesterday and approved it so that plant is good enough to meet the codes regarding reducing how visible the fence is from the street.

The project is completely paid for. The last check cleared my account and the materials charge posted on my credit card. I still need to pay off that card but I will soon enough. Things are good.

My dogs aren't quite sure about the new doggie door yet. They're starting to figure it out though.

I joined the 10-pound Challenge

2012-01-12T10:53:00.002-05:00

I joined the 10-pound Challenge hosted by Newlyweds on a Budget. Lose 10 pounds in 12 weeks, win $$$. Are you in?

Hey, I'm going to be losing weight anyway. I might as well try and win some money along the way.

Surprise Costs (Who Knew?)

2012-01-10T16:49:00.001-05:00

Apparently there are "hidden" costs in my city when it comes to fences. Everything is taken care of and it will be finished tomorrow. While I talked to the guy today he mentioned one thing I wasn't aware of. After the fence is installed, the city will send an inspector to make sure it's done right and up to code. OK, I knew that part.

The part I didn't know, "Since part of your fence faces the street, you must line the front of your fence with evergreen shrubbery to obscure the view of the fence." Yeah, this is right up there with the fact that I can't keep my trash can against the side of my house because it's visible from the road. It's insane and stupid but the city inspector won't check off on the fence unless it's there. Apparently, once it's passed inspection, I could rip the plants out and never have them there again without any consequences but they have to be in place according to the codes and this is when they check/enforce that code.

So, tonight it looks like I am going to be shopping for a shrubbery!

Head Knight: We shall say "Ni" again to you, if you do not appease us.
King Arthur: Well, what do you want?
Head Knight: We want a shrubbery!!

The Fence is Going Up

2012-01-10T08:55:00.002-05:00

I promise that pictures are forthcoming but right now I didn't get a chance to take any. The fence is going up. They started yesterday and finished one side of the yard and that part of the front. They still need to do the other side, the chain link in the back, and put in both gates. I think they got a late start yesterday so it might even be done this afternoon. It's pretty exciting.

I did poorly on my diet on Friday and Saturday but I have been strict about it since then. I know that's only two days. Right now, I haven't seen any progress at all. But I know it will come eventually if I keep doing what I am doing. It is especially frustrating to not "see" any gains during the worst part of the reduction in calories (the first few days) because those are the hardest and you need the encouragement most.

I still haven't bought the part for my car. I really need to get that done. I didn't get any paperwork done yesterday. I was too busy cooking, prepping food for future meals, and calming the dogs. The dogs were not handling strangers in their yard.

One day at a time.

I Hate Crazy Days

2012-01-09T14:57:00.001-05:00

I just can't seem to get on track today. I forgot that I had a meeting with a parent and didn't realize it until 20 minutes before when my phone reminder went off. So I had to prepare for it on the fly. I also had an observation and everything went wrong. My students couldn't get enough computers because another class was using them. That led to 5-10 minutes of "down time" when the kids weren't doing anything productive. The reality of teaching is that such things happen from time to time. The reality of observations is that you don't want that to happen when you're being watched because the administrator might believe it is more common than it should be.

Over the weekend, I looked up the code on my car. It seems to be a faulty thermostat. I am going to see if the auto parts store has one in stock and pick it up. I will get my future brother in law to help replace it. There doesn't seem to be any major issue with the car and this isn't too bad.

Also, I burned my arm over the weekend by laying my arm over the steam outlet for my kettle. It was so quick but it left a pretty nasty 1"x2" burn on my forearm. And I sliced up my thumb working on the sink in the bathroom. I am a walking disaster lately.

The materials for my new fence should have been delivered today and it will be going up today. At the very least, it will start going up today. I had to call and pay for the materials. There is currently a massive charge pending on my credit card. I think I am going to pay off the fence purchase ahead of the bill posting. If not, that card will have over 35% utilization this month. That's not the end of the world but I have the cash on hand and can avoid it. I still have another $980 to pay when the job is done and I am satisfied.

I just don't feel like doing anything today. I have a bunch of paperwork that I need to get on top of and finish. I'll try and get some of it done this afternoon. Life is too crazy lately. I long for days where I am looking for stuff to do.

Positively Positive Post!!!

2012-01-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

I have been too much of a "Debbie Downer" lately. It's time to make a list of some positives.

It's Saturday!!!
I have a great girlfriend.
I'm going to have a nice fence at my house for my two dogs that adore me.
I am well liked by most people I work with.
I can do a [couple] pull-up(s)!
Smiling is free!
I have survived another year without being eaten by zombies. Let's hope I can say that next year.
8 is 2 cubed... and that's just great!
I am happy enough with my nerd nature to think numbers are a reason to be happy.
I've made a ton of progress, since last year, in all areas (weight, health, debt repayment, etc.)
11 is a nice prime number to halt a list on!

That is all for now. Move along... nothing to see here.

Oh that Murphy

2012-01-06T10:44:00.001-05:00

So I have been talking about my new fence and how it drained my emergency fund pretty low. I still haven't purchased the new water heater but that's part of the "drain" I accounted for. If I have to pay for installation, then I need to find $400-$500 from somewhere to cover that because my fund is woefully depleted for the time being. I am thinking of stretching that out, actually, so I can at least have some reserves if I do need a plumber.

Needless to say, I am nearly tapped out right now. Things have been running really lean the last few months anyway and those two things hitting at the same time did a number. There's not much breathing room.

So, this morning, on the way to work, my check engine light comes on in the car. I have just under $200 in my maintenance budget right now. I can't afford an expensive repair. My future brother-in-law might have access to a diagnostic computer. If he does, I'll see if I can get him to hook it up and tell me what's wrong.

If not, I can always pay my regular mechanic to see what's wrong and fix it (if necessary) for me.

This isn't the end of the world. But it sure is coming at a really bad time!

Fence Project Officially Started

2012-01-04T15:47:00.001-05:00

This morning there was a knock at my door. This was at 10am, in the morning! It was the man here to rip down the old fence and start hauling it away. I also got the contract.

I need to pay $490 today and the cost of the materials. The $490 I need to write a check for and the rest can go on my credit card. When the project is complete, I have to pay a final $980. The total cost is $3,849.88. It's a bit scary but it has to be done and we're already started.

I have been stress eating today about it. I need to stop eating.

My Puppy is Evil

2012-01-03T09:38:00.000-05:00

Meet Vinnie. He's the puppy I got this summer. You might remember his cute photos. He's not "that" cute anymore and I wanted to kill him yesterday. It is hard to tell from that photo but he's solid muscle and weighs about 33 pounds (15kg). He's a heavy little dog with a ton of attitude. He's possibly still growing too. But that's another issue.

The picture to the left is from a few days ago. I came out of the shower to find him in my spot on the couch. He was deliberate in his sitting there. All attitude. "Look, this is my spot now and I dare you to try and say different!" He remained like that even as I went to get my cell phone and walked over to the couch to take the photo. He's trying to take my place. Yesterday, he attempted to execute (pun intended) the final phase of his plan to usurp me.

I was in the spare bedroom doing some push ups. I am going to get in shape this year. He was on the bed in the spare bedroom. When I was at the lowest point of the push up and on my way up, he leaped up off the bed and right onto the back of my head.

That's a distance of about 3ft (1m) and a weight of 33lb (15kg) spontaneously applied to the back of my head. At the time he landed, my face was 1-2 inches from the floor. My face slammed with unimaginable force into the carpet. OK, not unimaginable but approximately 2,450 Newtons of force (550 pounds spread over the area in inches of my face -- which I am not sure about). All maths aside--don't you wish I had that attitude from the start--it was horrific. A slightly different angle and I would have been spitting out teeth.

As it was, he nearly broke my nose. There was blood everywhere and the pain was blinding. It took half a bottle of hydrogen peroxide to get the blood stains out of the carpet. For the rest of the day, I felt like I had lost a fight. And Vinnie? He realized his plan had failed and he sought asylum under the far corner of the bed in the guest room to avoid the gallows.

My face is still tender today and the back of my head hurts too. Vinnie is laying at my feet as I type this, trying to pretend that nothing is amiss. But I know how serious his plans for a complete takeover are now. I'm going to have to watch my back from this point on and I'm counting all the knives in the kitchen before I got to bed from now on.

Year End Stats

2012-01-02T13:06:00.001-05:00

Well, three full years on the debt repayment bandwagon. This last year was pretty good but mostly because my debt forgiveness kicked in for some of my loans,

2008 Year End: $60,885.91 [Original Starting Balance]
2009 Year End: $51,499.02 [ -$9,386.89 ] (15.4%)
2010 Year End: $43,248.27 [ -$8,250.75 ] (13.6%)
2011 Year End $17,411.81 [ -$25,836.46] (42.4%)

Total: -$43,474.10 (71.4%)

In my post from last year I said, "If everything goes as planned I hope to have only about $20k in debt by this time next year and that will be across just one student loan and the second mortgage." I have less than that amount and, yes, it's just the two loans.

I also have the repayment to my emergency fund. But that hadn't "officially" happened in 2011. The money is still there today. We're paying for the fence and water heater in the next couple weeks. So the repayment will be something I need to include for 2012.

So my prediction and goal for this upcoming year? Let's see. I am roughly going to say it will be around $6,000 going into next year. I would have liked for it to be paid off but the projects around the house can't wait any longer. It will be just the one student loan though. So things aren't too horrible.

I am still owed nearly $1,000 from my deadbeat roommate. I'll probably never see it. My step-mother promised that I would get it but it's just not happening and she's made no attempt to repay it in almost a year. They're really hurting now because my dad never bothered to build up a savings fund and his job is insecure now and they're really jerking him around at the post office. I would feel bad for him but this is just solid lack of planning on his part and bad spending habits.

End of the Year Thoughts

2011-12-31T16:18:00.003-05:00

At some point, during the last year, I decided that one of my goals was going to be able to do a pull up. I had never, in my life, done a complete pull up. I might have done most of one -- or bounced or kicked to help get over the bar -- but I knew, in my heart, that I hadn't done a real one. So I made it a goal to do one as part of my goal of getting fit. Yesterday, for the first time in my life, I did one. I actually did a few but I rested between each one and couldn't manage two full ones in a row. But still, that's quite the accomplishment for me.

I have been working on a Goals page. You can access it through that link or from the bar at the top of the page. This is a list of both my short term and long term goals. I've up the pull up goal. I want to be able to do 10 in a row now. And I want to work towards being able to do one armed ones. Will I ever get to that point? I don't know but it's there. My girlfriend and I have been talking about various things we want to do in the future. Those things will slowly make their way on to that list.

One of my short term goals is to repay my savings account (plus 12% interest) over the next year. In the last year, including the fence and water heater, I calculate that my emergency fund is $5,603.39 below where it should be. I didn't start with that much in there, actually. I ended up pulling $1,200 from my "poker" money to cover the shortage. Now, my girlfriend will be paying $1,925 towards the fence so that will go right back in the emergency fund in the next month or so. And she'll be giving me a bit extra each week towards repaying the fund. I am also going to slow down my mortgage repayment a little and use that towards the emergency fund rebuilding. Getting that rebuilt within a year requires almost $500 a month towards that fund. That's a lot but it's doable (I currently overpay the second mortgage by almost $1,000 a month).

Anyway, that's all I have to say right now. I don't have any "resolutions" for next year except what I've already been working on (getting in shape and reaching my healthy weight). I've not smoked for well over a year at this point. So that's not a goal. I'm not going to quit drinking and I've not been able to do a lot of that anyway because of the diet. So that's not a resolution either. All I have right now is the things I've been working on and the list of things I want to do in the future.

Wow, Homes are Expensive

2011-12-28T09:13:00.001-05:00

My water heater has been going to die for a while. It's getting progressively worse and my girlfriend and I have decided it's time to replace it. That is going to cost almost $900 installed. Or I could pay under $400 for the heater and hope my future brother-in-law and I can install it correctly. It's electric so there's no chance of me blowing myself up. And it should be the same height and everything; so, there will be little to no need to rework the plumbing. This assumes everything goes well. I might be willing to pay the extra money just to know it's being done right.

Then there is the fence. As you might be able to tell from the picture, my fence is structurally impaired--to put it kindly.

It's rotted in several places and missing boards. And then a large portion of it fell over into my neighbor's lot. Lucky for me, no one lives there and there hasn't been any major pressure to act on it. I do need to fix it. And to make matters worse, I need to extend the fence across the back yard to keep the dogs in.

We have heard great things about one company. They have great service and their prices are lower than most others around here. Every person we talked to, who used them, highly recommended them. I had them come out this morning and quote the cost of a replacement fence. Everything said and done, $3,850.

So we're looking at about $4,250-$4,750 in repairs that need to be done to the house. I guess we can ignore the windows for the time being (we'll just not open them). This will drain the majority of my emergency fund (even if my girlfriend covering half the cost).

I could redirect some of my mortgage overage to these funds. I hate to slow it down but we need to get on top of some of these home repairs before we live in a hovel.

One Year of Weight Tracking and Loss

2011-12-27T13:03:00.000-05:00

I've actually tracked for a little more than a year and been working on weight loss for a little less than a year. But the chart shows one year back from this date. You can click on it to see more details.

You can see that I've been doing poorly for the last three months. The holidays were really bad for me. I've recently refocused and am going to get back on track. Things slowed down a lot in June because I got lazy and complacent when work let out. I didn't completely give up and lost more. And I didn't reach my goal of 135 pounds. Hey, don't mock me!

The grey line is the actual daily weight and the red line is the trend.

But on the bright side, I am down a lot from my starting weight and have kept it off for months. I'm down, on this chart, about 44 pounds from where it started. And that's about where I am from when I started (47 pounds). It's not the lowest point but it's not too far off it either. I feel a lot better about myself.

I do want to get the weight down more. And I am working on getting in better shape. The most important thing, is to keep the weight off that I have already lost.

I got a pull-up bar for Christmas so I can work on that at home. This year is going to be one of fitness and better health.

So Much Interest

2011-12-26T08:32:00.000-05:00

I am the type of person who keeps track of everything. And each year, I jot down how much I paid in interest towards my mortgage. This is part of my tax preparation process but it's also to see how much I have paid in total towards my house.

At this point, after 4 years, I have paid almost 25% of the purchase price of my home... in interest. Even if I managed to pay the whole thing off tomorrow, I've increased the real cost of my house by almost 25% of what I paid for it. From a mathematical perspective, I understand this and it's not at all out of line. But seeing it in practice is a whole different matter. If you had sat me down, when I bought the house, and told me that I would throw away that much money on interest in just the first 4 years, I don't know what I would do.

I probably wouldn't have changed anything. I went into this knowing that the original payment plan involved me paying more than 100% of the original loan amount in interest. But, at the same time, I was telling myself that I would pay extra and reduce that amount by a lot. I guess I didn't think of how much would pile up in the first couple years.

I have been massively overpaying the second mortgage. I am ahead by thousands of dollars (well over $14k ahead if I was paying both loans as 30 year ones... more if I was just paying interest only on the second). And still, only 42% of the total money I've thrown at the mortgage has gone to principal. The rest has been interest.

Oh well, one day at a time. I'm making a lot of progress on the second mortgage and it will be gone soon enough. Then I'm going to get rid of the student loan and I'll feel better about these things.

Edit: I guess I shouldn't be too upset about 42% of my payments going towards the balance in the first 4 years. The standard plan, for my mortgage, would have about 16.6% of the amount of my payments go to the balance. The other 83.4% would be handed over to the bank.

Daily Nerd Moment

2011-12-22T12:58:00.003-05:00

So I was watching TV and this Gerber College Fund commercial came on. And it mentioned that parents could start saving for their child's college fund. It could be as low as $10 a week. And the mouse print on the screen basically said it was $10/week for 18 years and a guarantee of $10,000 dollars. It occurred to me, when I read it, that this wasn't a great deal. At over $520 a year, for 18 years, you'll have paid in almost $10,000 anyway. I decided to figure out the returns. I didn't know an "easy" way to do it so I fired up my trusty dc(1) *nix program. Besides, I wanted to play around a little. What follows isn't line noise... it's what I used to narrow the rate down.

12k0sb0sw0.007 365/7*st10sp939sz[lblp+lt1+*sblw1+dswlz>c]sclcx[At week: ]nlwp[The balance is: $]nlbp

This doesn't actually narrow the rate down. It took a little playing on my part. What it does is calculate the final balance of an account with some basic assumptions. First that the payments stay the same ($10 in the above), the rate is given (0.007 or 0.7% in the above), and there are 939 payments (52 * 365.25 / 7 ... rounded down).

So 939 weekly payments of $10 at 0.7% APR gives $10,008.1411 ... a little more than the $10k they ensure you'll have.

According to the fine print on the TV commercial, the return is less than 0.7% APR. No wonder they can promise to give you that much regardless of the market.

I went on the site for more details and saw they had different numbers. So I changed it a little:

12k0sb0sw0.029 12/st35.42sp216sz[lblp+lt1+*sblw1+dswlz>c]sclcx[At month: ]nlwp[The balance is: $]nlbp

So 216 monthly payments of $35.42 @ 2.9% APR gives: $10,054.2165 ... a bit more reasonable but still less than 2.9%... you could probably do better.

Basically, the website had it as monthly payments for the same term and payout. I compounded monthly to keep things simple.

LOL... ok, ok, I admit that I lied a little bit. While those are the actual commands that produce the resulting answers, I didn't enter them just like that. I used a text editor and formatted it a little more like a normal program.

# b = balance
# t = term rate
# p = payment
# c() { weekly interest }
# w = week
# z = number of weeks

12 k # 12 digit precision
0 sb # starting balance
0 sw # zeroith week
0.007 365/7*st # Interest per weekly term
10 sp # $10 Payments
939 sz # number of weeks

# c() -- this is the c() function
[lb # load balance
lp+ # load payment add balance
lt # load term rate
1+ # add one to term rate
* sb # rate * new bal -> bal
lw 1+ d sw # week = week+1
lz >c # if z>w c()
]sc

lcx # call c()
[At week: ]n lwp
[The balance is: $]n lbp # print balance

I know, I know... it still looks like line noise. But if you're familiar with the dc(1) program in *nix, it does make sense. I happen to have developed a taste for it and find it useful because it has the power to do things like this without me having to "really" program.

You can return to your non-nerd life now.

Today is the First Day of Winter Break

2011-12-22T06:48:00.003-05:00

I am so happy for the break. I don't have a lot to do--although I should get caught up on some things that I am behind on.

I had this long post on various things today but it's going to have to wait. For the time being, I am enjoying my coffee and silence except for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra playing on my computer.

Merry Festivus Eve everyone. Rest up. Tomorrow's a big day with the Airing of Grievances and someone's going to have to pin me!

Stayed Home Today

2011-12-20T16:51:00.003-05:00

I didn't go in to work. I just couldn't find the energy. I am glad I stayed home. The combination of rest, meds, and antibiotics seems to have done the trick. I feel a lot better. I am still not 100% back to normal but I am very close.

I made a lazy man's dinner tonight. We have a couple "Brown and Wild Rice" instant rice cups from Minute Rice. My girlfriend bought them a while ago because she was going to bring them to work. She hated them. They aren't seasoned and she found them intolerable. They've been stuck on the top shelf in our pantry for a while. I didn't feel like cooking rice so I figured I should try and make a dish around one of those.

I took a frozen chicken breast and thawed it. Then I cubed it into 1/4" chunks. I took a non-stick pan and poured a couple TBS of soy sauce in it with onion powder and minced garlic. While that heated, I cooked the rice and thawed some mixed vegetables in the microwave. I then cooked the chicken in the soy sauce mix, finished cooking the veggies in it, and added the rice to mix it all together.

A simple 10 minute meal of 450ish calories and I used up one of those cups. There's still two more but I enjoyed my dinner enough that I'll probably use the other two cups in a similar manner. It's like poor man's chicken fried rice.

So sick...

2011-12-19T09:36:00.000-05:00

I think I have the flu or at least a very bad cold. I ache like I have been beat up and am exhausted. That's flu like. But I am also coughing and sneezing like a three pack a day smoker with a snuff habit. I also haven't had a fever. All that is cold like.

I guess it really doesn't matter which. I have 3 days left before my break. Today I need to finalize the gifts for both aides and I also need to pay my car insurance. I can't forget to do that. I also need to wrap all the gifts for my girlfriend. Today is a good day to get that done. If I have time.

I went in to work. I shouldn't have. But here's the thing, I planned a very hands on activity for today. It required a lot of knowledge and some stuff that I had to bring in from home. Last night, as I miserably contemplated skipping work, I realized that I would need to concoct and write a whole new plan. That takes almost as much effort as going in a just executing my current plan. So here I am, at work.

I have too much to do today.

Do you give scratch off tickets to people at the holidays?

2011-12-18T09:12:00.001-05:00

So I have to get my paraprofessional a gift for Christmas. I also want to get something small for my paraprofessional from last year, since she was with me for several years and is a friend--not just an aide.

The problem is that I don't have a whole lot of money. I was looking around for something small but also something each of them would enjoy. My current paraprofessional complicates the buying process because most sweet stuff is out. He can't have chocolate because caffeine gives him migraines. I was having the hardest time. I said I should probably just get them gift cards to some place. But getting them a card with a value that wasn't insulting would cost more than I can reasonably afford to spend. At this point, my girlfriend pulled out a trick I hadn't thought of in a long time.

"Why not buy them each a bunch of scratch off tickets? You'll be able to spend half as much and they won't think of it like cash."

This is what I call "poverty" thinking. It is something poor people tend to do and it is also something which keeps people poor because it is a waste of money. I used to get scratch tickets from time to time when I was growing up because various family members couldn't afford to give more. Now, in practice, I know that if I put a $10 bill in the envelope the person would be offended. But if I put six $1 scratchers and a couple $2 scratchers, the person won't think much about it. Even though the amount I spent is equal and the value of what I am giving them is less than half the value of the cash.

I don't normally think about scratch off tickets for others because I don't buy them for myself. They are a losing bet. For every dollar I spend, I expect to get less than a dollar back (on average) when I buy them. Because of that, I never buy them. But, having been on the receiving end of them, I know my girlfriend is right. The people won't associate the cost to me as a value association of them.

I am thinking of getting my old aide $5 worth and my current aide $10 worth. This is much cheaper than the $40ish I would probably end up spending otherwise.

My New Card

2011-12-17T07:54:00.000-05:00

My new card arrived yesterday. I had trouble activating it on the phone and it doesn't seem to be properly associated with my account. I couldn't get it to enroll in the ultimate rewards program because it doesn't seem to recognize the account number. It might take a day or two to get the number propagated through the system.

I still feel icky. I really pushed myself yesterday. I was at work early for the breakfast my team had. Then I worked all day. After that, I rushed to get a haircut, shower, get dressed, get some cash, and run off to the girlfriend's Christmas party. We got home around 11.

I am still exhausted. And I am NOT going to eat until our party tonight. I'm getting fat again.

My Credit Card Number was Stolen

2011-12-16T06:09:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I felt horrible. I was stuffy and coughing up a storm when I first got up. I blamed this on lack of sleep because my dog was being horrible all night. I felt a little nauseous but didn't think too much of it until I ate my lunch and it refused to stay down. And that was the dam breaking. I quickly got worse and worse after that. I had to stay at work because no one could come in for me. I was able to do it but spent a lot of time at my desk because I wasn't well enough to walk around.

While at my desk, I checked my credit card information. I do this all the time anyway but not usually during work hours. I noticed a really strange transaction on one of my Chase cards. It was for a small amount ($0.62) and for a place I didn't recognize. It was also immediately refunded. It just didn't seem right. I was sick but I decided to call anyway.

The person from Chase, who answered my call, was very nice and professional. She thanked me for calling them and said they had tried to contact me earlier. They had my old phone number and I guess that is why I saw it online first. They had flagged the transaction as suspicious and had already refunded it because of that. The account was also blocked and unusable. I would have found that out if I had tried to use the card.

After confirming some information of mine, she recommended that I close the old account and they would send me a new card. That should arrive today by UPS. I will have to sign for it. But I am going in to work so hopefully they don't arrive until after I get home. She asked if I had the physical card in my possession. I do. And she asked if the transaction prior to the suspicious one was valid (it was). She told me to destroy everything related to the old account. I also had to move any automatic payments to the new card when I got it -- I don't have any.

As of right now, I am not being charged for the transaction or the overnighting of a new card. All my cashback will transfer to the new account when it comes. And everything seems to be handled very smoothly. We'll see how the future bears out for this.

I will say one thing, this is so much better than if it was my debit card. In that case, it would be much harder and I might even be changing checking accounts. Fairly painless.

I am left wondering where the number got stolen from. If it happened in the last few months, I have only used my card when eating out (5% cash back). Going back:

Outback: This is where I suspect it happened -- the person took way longer with my card than usual.

Chinese Food: Unlikely, the person never left my sight although they did have problems with their machine and have to type the number in manually.

Panera Bread: Unlikely, never left my sight and it took a second to pay.

And then it goes back even further. It could have been the Melting Pot back on our anniversary or even further back. I don't know how long the number was out in the wild before it was used. Still, I suspect Outback. I remember that transaction distinctly because something felt wrong about it.

I'll keep everyone updated on how this unfolds. Right now, the whole process has been completely painless.

Total Debt Load

2011-12-13T08:23:00.000-05:00

I keep a spreadsheet which calculates my debt. I used to post the charts showing the numbers graphically but I've gotten lazy and stopped that. But I still keep the chart.

I am nearing a big milestone. I have a number that is my total debt load. This is the amount that includes all my non-revolving loans. It is student loans, auto loans, mortgages, and anything else I might accumulate. Right now it's just the mortgages and the remaining student loan. But you get the point.

I was reading another blog and the person mentioned having six figures of student loan debt. I thought, I have six figures of total debt and maybe less. I went and checked, I am a couple thousand dollars away from my total debt load being less than six figures.

OK, that's 2-3 months away but I will soon be down to just 5 figures of debt! That's exciting.

Before and After in the Garage

2011-12-12T18:40:00.003-05:00

The picture on the left is not a real before picture. It is an idea of how things were. Look at the picture on the left and then to the right. The boxes were stacked like that as high as the top of the black milk crates, all along the wall where the bookshelves are, and out a little beyond the amount of floor visible in the picture. In the picture on the left, the front row of boxes are empty and will be broken down for recycling. There was a pile about that big of already broken down boxes that I have in an area you can't see here.

I really need more shelving in the garage for the games (you can see the stack on the left of the left picture). Everything under that upright post (looks like a hangman game but it's not) is games. They also go as far out as the white box you can see in the front there. I have a lot for my class and some home ones too. Way too much crap there.

For Christmas This Year, I Want Less

2011-12-12T10:00:00.000-05:00

One thing I would like to do in the next couple weeks is to downsize the amount of stuff I have lying around that I don't use. I have a garage full of books that I won't read. I am going to box them up and drop them off at the library. I would also like to go through the boxes of stuff I brought home from school and organize them and get rid of what I don't need anymore.

I actually started writing this last night and the last sentence above inspired me to get something done. I went in the garage and started tearing through those boxes and reorganizing things. I dragged my two bookshelves, from the house, into the garage and pulled my books off them. I then unpacked my boxes and boxes of student books and filed up the two bookshelves. I took all my teacher resources and put them in improvised shelves on top of those bookshelves. I also sorted a lot of the other resources (games, manipulatives, and kits) in the garage. My personal books went on my larger bookshelf that I had out in the garage already.

I spent four hours out in the garage. Things are a lot better in there now. I still want to organize a couple of the boxes but there is no longer a pile of boxes shoulder high taking up a quarter of my garage. I did fill a large trash can with junk that needs to be thrown out. I also have a nice pile of papers that need to be shredded. The garage will look nice.

I got rid of a couple old scales, an old TV, a fan, a broken vacuum, and a weight set that I never use. I am going to continue to sort through the garage and continue to get rid of stuff that is just piling up. I have a box of old wires and electronic garbage that I want to take down to be recycled.

I feel good though. I made a lot of progress and things are being downsized.

The Question of Santa Claus

2011-12-09T10:23:00.001-05:00

The question of Santa Claus is a tricky one for me. I imagine it's a tricky subject for most elementary school teachers. We are around hundreds of children, through the years, from different backgrounds and traditions. All of those children are also at different levels of physical, emotional, and intellectual maturity. And so, we face the question of Santa Claus.

The default, and time-honored, position of teachers is one of agnosticism leaning towards belief. When confronted by students about the subject, we walk the delicate line of appeasing those students who know the truth while leaving room for belief in those students who aren't there yet. Most teachers only practice this sort of evasiveness once a year. I get to practice it throughout the year when the subject of god arises. Since I treat that the same way. But that's another story all together. As teachers, we generally don't take a stand on the question of Santa Claus and we lean towards encouraging belief.

This topic came up recently because one of the other teachers has a daughter in 4th grade. I am not going to declare a certain age or grade to be "too old" to believe but I think 4th grade is getting towards the later years when a child should unquestioningly accept the Santa mythology. To complicate my stance even further, the child is in the 4th grade gifted program. I, personally, don't know that this girl is actually gifted but let's assume, for the sake of this post, that she is.*** Gifted children are not [always] advanced in all areas of development. Just as intellect doesn't cause one to develop faster physically, students can be intellectually years above their age but emotionally right around where they should be or even below.

So this girl had a friend that told her Santa wasn't real. And she confronted her mother (a teacher) about this when they were at home. The student had already spent time on the internet trying to find the answer and told her mother about this. Her mother asked what she found online and the student said that she found some sites that said he didn't exist but other sites saying he did. At this point, I feel the mother had done just fine. But then she did something horrible. She did something horrific and frankly, intellectually stunting.

"Santa is real!" she asserted, "And don't let anyone tell you otherwise. People will make up stuff to try and prove he isn't but he is and you need to believe in him no matter what you read or hear people say."

She announced this to me and another teacher, proud of the way she "handled" the question. I was sickened. I know some of my readers might not think it's a big deal and may not even see the problem. But, to me, intellectual analysis and skepticism are paramount in the intellectual development of children (especially gifted children) as they move into adolescence. This wasn't just a missed opportunity to develop and enhance the child's reasoning ability and skills. It was an attack on the development of such ability. This child is, at least temporarily, stunted in their intellectual development by the ignorance of her mother.

My girlfriend and I got into a heated argument about this. She sided with the way the parent handled it and said I don't understand because I don't have a child. I pointed out that she doesn't have a 4th grade child either. While I would not encourage this sort of response to a doubting kindergartner (which she has), I abhor it when it is aimed at a 4th grade student. It's developmentally inappropriate at that age.

This was a perfect opportunity to talk about analyzing sources of information, the motives of those sources, and everything else. The parent didn't need to let the cat out of the bag. A simple discussion about what information she found and where she found it would be enough. And it leads to fascinating discussions, especially with gifted children who put together things, when you discuss the fact that NORAD tracks Santa's flight each year. If Santa wasn't real, why would a group of people say he does and manufacture false information to make him seem real? Do you think they make money from it? They don't! Hmm, so what would cause them to do it? Either Santa is real or there is some other reason they would fabricate the tracking data. Etc... these are great conversations about myth, social relationships, belief, reliability of data, critical thinking, and so on!

But no! The parent shot all that down as wrong and bad. Believe me, she emulated her tone when retelling us the story and I'm guess that girl would rather be caught on the toilet than caught questioning Santa.

Doubt is a good thing. Questioning is a wonderful thing. Learning to reason things out for yourself and delve into the motivations of other people is essential to a full life on this planet. And sure, this girl is only in 4th grade and there's hope she'll gain these skills eventually but shooting them down like that and stunting them is horribly ignorant.

_____ LONG BLURB ON GIFTED CHILDREN IGNORE _____
*** With the reluctance to use official IQ testing in the schools as well as the ability for parents to IQ-test shop until they get the score they want, I estimate that at least 1/3rd of the students in the gifted program are not truly gifted. They might be academically advanced (due to parental pressure and help -- like the kind an over-bearing teacher as a mother can provide) but they don't have the inherent intellectual abilities that truly define the gifted. Gifted isn't being smart. It isn't having good grades. It isn't doing well in school or being a year ahead of your classmates. It's a whole different world. I've worked closely with this student and the others in her class (last year they were across the hall from me and I even taught some of their lessons because the teacher and I are friends and she wanted me to). I haven't worked closely enough to state anything with 100% certainty but this girl isn't one of the students that has stood out as demonstrating the cognitive abilities of the gifted to me. She comes across as very hard working and dedicated to school but effort and ability are not the same thing. If she really isn't gifted, this story is even worse because those critical thinking skills are extremely important to maintaining social and academic status among gifted children and curriculum.

A Squirrel Might Have Died Today

2011-12-07T10:31:00.001-05:00

I was already running late for work.

My girlfriend needed me to bring her the purse she forgot.

I was rushing and distracted.

It darted out too quickly for me to react, even if I had been going slower and was more focused on the road.

I don't think the kiddo comprehended what the thick heavy thumps on the bottom of the car implied.

As I drove off, I didn't see anything in the street but that doesn't mean much.

There's nothing I can do about it now but I still wish it hadn't happened.

Monday Monday, Can't Trust that Day

2011-12-05T10:53:00.001-05:00

I didn't get to bed until late last night and then I couldn't sleep. So I nearly overslept this morning, even after I got up to take care of the dog. I just managed to fall asleep on the couch once he was back inside. I did manage to get to work on time and get everything in place before the kids arrived. But I sincerely hate Mondays. It takes me almost the whole day just to get back into the flow of being at work and on top of what is coming. I try to never schedule anything important for Monday.

I am getting frustrated with mint. It is pretending to update my Bank of America accounts but not actually updating them. Things look fine, on the surface, but they're completely out of sync with reality. I might end up writing a bug ticket later today when I have time.

Life isn't too bad though. The weather is tolerable (cold for me but not too cold to move) and I feel good. I am working on sticking to my budget even though it's hard.

Speaking of budgets, my car insurance went up more than I expected. I need to call them and find out what is up. In any case, I am likely going to have to find some extra money to throw towards it every month. I had enough in my "insurance" savings account to almost pay it off in full (short $13) but to avoid that problem six months from now, I am going to up my contributions to that account.

Quiet Weekend

2011-12-04T17:56:00.001-05:00

We did go out to eat this weekend. But we made it a late lunch to save some money. And tonight, we're going to have a nice dinner in. We purchased steak, again. My girlfriend loves steak. And we got some vegetables and everything. This time we went for rice instead of the potatoes and everything ran well under $10 for the both of us. It's much cheaper than eating out would be.

I also made some lentils and rice for this upcoming week. I only made enough for 2-3 days because it takes under an hour to cook and there's no soaking. I measured out another batch with spices and everything into a ziplock bag. So I have a quick way to make another batch midweek. I'll just throw it in the right amount of water and simmer it until it's done.

I did a couple loads of laundry, including the blankets the dogs sleep on. That needed to be done. I didn't get a whole lot accomplished this weekend but that's nice sometimes. Tomorrow I will be back to work. I am not feeling good about my job this year.

I can't remain a teacher

2011-12-02T09:07:00.001-05:00

I know, just yesterday, I posted about how I can't help being a teacher. This morning we had a meeting talking about our new evaluations in this state. You see, 50% of our evaluation is based on student progress with the state tests. The meeting was a whole bunch of math, statistics, and calculations and was supposed to make teachers feel a little more confident that it wasn't as bad as it seems.

For me, it was worse than it seems. You see, I have almost no hope under this new system. I am currently awaiting my score from last year. It won't be used for this year's evaluation but it should give me an idea of where I am at. I have little hope regarding it though. I teach students with disabilities and those students are required to take their tests based on their grade level not their academic level.

For example, I have a student who is reading at a 1st-2nd grade level. This year, he will take the 5th grade test. Even if we make huge gains, we've made some but not enough, he has no chance of passing the test. I tried to get a good answer as to how this would be dealt with but I didn't get one. The person said "they only have to show a little gains if they are that low." But that's not the point! The test is so far out of kilter to where they are that any gains can easily be lost in the noise of guessing.

I'll try and explain what this is like. Put yourself in the shoes of a 9th grade student taking Algebra I. You're learning about functions and variables. You're learning about how to solve simple functions. You work really hard all year. Then, I give you a Calculus 2 exam at the end of the year to see how much growth you made. You have no clue how to approach this test. But, lucky for you, I made it multiple choice. You end up just guessing and scoring a 27% (the expected score from guessing should be around 25% for a 4 item test). A failing score. But they pass you on anyway. Or they don't; it doesn't much matter with a gap like that. I would probably pass you if you made growth at the level we worked at.

We spend the next year working on Algebra II and you make astounding progress. You make way more gains than I expect... than I could expect! The end of the year arrives and I plop a Calculus 3 exam down in front of you (or the Calculus 2 exam again if you were held back). Again, you have no idea how to approach this test. You can't do double integrals... partial integrals... or anything. You look up at me, with anger and tears in your eyes, because I failed you. I didn't prepare you for this. How could I? You weren't there yet! Again you take the test. Again, you end up guessing. This time you get a 23% which is right around what you expect when someone guesses. You just got unluckier this time than last time.

The state determined that you should have gained 10% over the last score. They wanted you to score a 37% or higher. Instead you were 14% below where you "should" have been. And now I am failing my evaluation too. What did we do wrong? Nothing! The two of us had no hope. I couldn't teach you calculus without all the background knowledge that you needed and you couldn't pass a test on stuff that wasn't on your academic level. To make matters worse, the real amount of knowledge you have of calculus (0%) is hidden by the guessing... and the real amount of gains you made (80-100% of Algebra II) isn't measured at all.

I have a student that is working on carrying when they add. But they're going to be tested on 2 digit by 4 digit division on the test and finding the greatest common factor and least common multiple of fractions. I have students learning to read "The wanderers were lost in the woods at night." But the test passages will include "Dad squinted at me looking for elaboration on my plight." There's not much the student can do when they can't read the passage and the questions are asking them to explore the main character's motives. So they end up guessing... they have to.

So, I guess my days of teaching are numbered. Sure, I could go teach regular education students but why bother? I should get a job where I'll be paid what I am worth for the stress and hassle I deal with.

I can't help being a teacher

2011-12-01T10:25:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, after work, I had to run to the grocery store to pick up several things from a list of items we need for the house. I was with the kiddo. He's 5 years old. This makes everything in the store a teachable moment.

We don't just get a can of tomato paste. We look at each can and see which one says P-A-S-T-E... does this one say paste? P-U-R-E-E? No? OK, let's keep looking for one that says paste. D-I-C-E-D... not this one... etc. Yeah, shopping with me is never a 10 minute thing. And I talk aloud about everything even when I am not asking him specifically. "We need two small cans of tomato paste. They are each 6oz. Two cans of 6oz is the same as one can of 12oz. And the big can is cheaper. So I'll get that." I don't expect him to follow that perfectly but exposure matters and you never know what will stick.

And so it goes through the store. One liter bottles, two liter bottles, milk... "We need half a gallon of milk. Is this half a gallon? No? You're right. What is this? [he wasn't sure] This is a gallon. We need to find one that is smaller..." It was at this point that a woman, who was near me by the milk, turns to me and stated, "Keep up the good work."

LOL... if I had any shame, I would have been slightly embarrassed. But I have none. I figure she was either a teacher or an educated parent who understands how important real world, direct instruction, especially with units of measurement is for children. Maybe not... maybe she was just a woman who was happy to see a guy taking time to try and educate his kid.

It took us a good 40 minutes to pick up the 6 items on our list. This is why I am not sent to the store alone, usually. But this morning, some of it paid off.

I bought a 1 liter bottle of seltzer water so I could refill it with iced tea for work. My fridge will hold 1 liter bottles but not 2 liter ones and I like having tea at work. I put the bottle on the table and the kiddo looked over at it. "That's your 1 liter bottle. It's smaller than the 2 liters."

A little more reinforcement and he'll be well prepared for school when they talk about units. I also use a lot of metric units (meters, grams, liters) on top of the standard ones (inches, pounds, oz) in order to make him familiar with both systems.

Why do I do it? Well, I want him to be bright and have a grasp on these things... sure. But it's also semi-selfish. As a teacher, I always wished kids came in with a better grasp of what these things were. It is not easy to teach a 3rd grader about gallons, quarts, pints, cups, and oz when they've never been exposed to it. I've had 3rd graders be unable to identify a "gallon" when the milk jug is an option. And that's just sad. I would blame it on my population (special needs) but the regular education teachers see the same thing. Kids these days!

Another Month in the Books.

2011-11-30T10:47:00.001-05:00

I am very excited to have this month behind me but I am not looking forward to this upcoming one. December is a bad month for my budget and my diet. I am working pretty hard on my diet right now (which also helps a little with the food budget). I am ashamed of how badly I went over my food and dining budget this month. We're over by almost $400. That is just insane! Some of that was our anniversary dinner ($125 -- don't ask), taking her parents out to eat ($55), taking my indigent sister out to eat ($45)... some of it is just laziness on our parts. We're going to do better! I swear!

I also changed my girlfriend's oil over the weekend. She needed it done badly. Even thought I had to buy the pan and a filter wrench, it was cheaper than getting it changed some other place. And each time we do it in the future, we'll save more money. I need to start changing my own oil. Ssshhh, don't judge me! My car has an annoying plastic protector under the engine. So I need to remove that and replace it every time I change the oil And my car is lower to the ground and it's harder to reach the pan.

I might just do it myself next time but I've been lazy and willing to pay for other people to deal with the hassle up to this point. I should change that.

I am a nerd.

2011-11-28T10:37:00.001-05:00

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I know I did. I ate far too much though. But that is fine because I'm now back on track and things will turn around. Does anyone else feel like I say that far too often?

Saturday was my one year anniversary with my girlfriend. We went to a very expensive restaurant for dinner. It was nice. Things were almost very bad. Now they're a little weird. This is long and I don't know how many people will have much to say about it. The "tl;dr" would be: couldn't take a joke about how nerdy I can be and now I hate myself for over-reacting.

I don't really know how to describe what has been going on. The stress lately isn't about money or anything normal. I'm a nerd. Now, before you all say, "duh," I feel there is more to explain about this. I am not your "Dave Ramsey" definition of "nerd." I am, at my core, a nerd in ways that non-nerds will never grok [understand]. I have said before, to my girlfriend, that if I get one of the jobs I am interested in (real long-shot), I am banning the "n-word" from our house. She thought it was a joke.

You see, I am in "geek"-recovery. I used to be a nerd and a geek. Every nerd and geek has their own, slightly different, definitions and meanings for each of these words. What follows are my own. They may be very different from what other geeks, nerds, or other people consider the meanings to be. The intersection of these sets is huge. In "normal terms" there is a lot of overlap between these groups. There are far more people who fall into both categories than fall into just one. For me, I consider the "geek" side to be primarily composed of those components that make someone poor at social interactions. While a nerd might know a huge amount about time dilation, for example, it is the geek who will assume that everyone else wants to talk about it and ignore all signs to the contrary. I call this "geeking out" and I am guilty of it from time to time. But I am better now! There was a period in my life (called "the before time") where I was perpetually in geek out mode.

I was clueless when it came to the fact that no one cared about the things I was obsessed with. My freshman year of college, for example, there was a girl who had a crush on me. Every day, she would find an excuse to hang out in my dorm room for hours. I had no idea she liked me. I was convinced she came just because she enjoyed hearing me talk about circuit design and low level programming. That, my dear readers, is the signs of a geek. There ain't no damn person in the world that wants to spend hours and hours every day listening to someone discuss obscure and useless trivia. Eventually, thanks to her and my college friends, I realized how bad I was and learned to break out of these habits. It is hard. Like I said, I'm in geek recovery. I fight against these tendencies often.

I am not perfect and sometimes I let my inner-geek overcome my better sense. But I am a lot better. I am very social and have lots of people who enjoy my company. Most of them know I am a nerd but I don't geek-out around them (or it happens very infrequently) and they don't think too much about it. I am working on refreshing my knowledge of calculus and have geeked out a bit more often than usual around my girlfriend.

She has been cracking the occasional nerd joke around me and comparing me to characters on The Big Bang Theory (a show I despise). As I became more "involved" with my review, the jokes and poking became more prevalent. It eventually came to a head and I lost it. She's not a nerd. She's not a geek. She can't use that word without the painful associations that come with it. Very few people can use the word positively because of the underlying implications. It is hard to explain but it got to me. It was just dismissive of my interests and what I enjoyed... it made a joke of those things and it hurt me.

So we got in a huge fight about that and some other stuff. I explained to her about how it would be like if I made jokes about her weight all the time or repeatedly made fun of how "gay" a homosexual friend of mine was. It was too sensitive a spot for me to take lightly as often as it was happening. She has promised to never joke about it again and feels bad about it.

And how do I feel now? I hate myself for being so sensitive about it. I feel like a child who can make jokes but not take them. I feel like she, of all people, should be allowed to joke about it with me. I want her to feel comfortable poking fun at me once in a while (just not as much as it was happening) but now I think I've made her so paranoid about it that she will never broach the subject around me again. I know how nerdy I can be and how I can geek-out. I would like her to feel comfortable telling me if, and when, I am geeking out too much or at inappropriate times. But, no... I have made it an overly sensitive area that she's going to be afraid to bring up with me.

Date Night In

2011-11-19T19:48:00.001-05:00

Warning: This is more boring and trivial day to day life stuff that no one cares about. LOL

So tonight my girlfriend was in charge of date night. She put aside enough money to go to our typical places (it was her turn to pay). We had been out all day running errands and stuff so she asked if I wanted to just buy the food and eat at home. I love that idea so I jumped at it. I would like to move two date nights a month to be in-home ones, if she would accept that.

So we had bought a sirloin steak, yellow squash, corn on the cob, and a couple potatoes. We didn't get any special deal on any of these although we did get a lot more of the vegetables than we would ever get at a restaurant (and it turned out 3-4 times more than we could possibly eat). I cut the steak in half and weighed the portions before I cooked them. I had a slightly larger than 7oz steak and she had a slightly larger than 9oz steak. This is pretty comparable to the Outback Special that we normally get when we go there. I usually get the 6oz and she gets the 9oz. The only difference would be exchanging the salad for an extra vegetable or a baked potato. Our cost for the supplies was under $11. We did use some seasonings and sour cream that we already had. That would probably round the cost out to $11, so we'll call it that.

The cost at Outback would be:
6oz: $9.99
9oz: $13.99
Total: $23.98

We also usually get soft drinks or iced tea with dinner. That's an additional $2.49 each at Outback and even more if I get a beer instead of the soda. I almost never get a beer because it costs more and I might be driving home. For our dinner in, my girlfriend grabbed a Pepsi ($1.58) and I decided to have a tall glass of cider (some of my homebrew). This specific batch of cider cost me about $1 a liter. I had 22oz (about $0.67 worth). We'll say both our beverages added up to $2.50 just to be safe. And we'll assume I wouldn't have gotten an alcoholic beverage if we ate out because it is not usual for me. Although if that was factored in the costs would have been more. So the cost at Outback would be $4.98.

Sometimes we get an appetizer or a dessert afterwards but we'll run the numbers as if we didn't. This way we're hitting the low end of our eating out experience.

Subtotal: $28.96
Tax: $2.03
Tip: $5.76
Total: $36.75

Cost of eating in: <$13.50
Cost of Outback: $36.75

So it saved us over $26 to stay home and make a meal for ourselves. The type and quality of food was identical to what we'd get eating out. Yeah, I had to prep and cook the food myself but that's not hard or very time consuming. And the amount of time that took was much less than driving to the restaurant and waiting in there. I pointed out how much money we saved and how it was the same food we would have gotten anyway. I think she'll be agreeable to doing it more often.

As an aside, while we were out I saw that the World Market is currently carrying a German apple wine. This would be very similar to my cider since it's based on a recipe for German apple wine. The cost of a liter? $8.99... that's 9 times more expensive than my homemade version. I was tempted to buy a bottle and see how close they really were but I couldn't justify it at that price.

Mortgage Savings Estimation

2011-11-19T10:23:00.001-05:00

As I have mentioned, I have two mortgages on my house. I bought my house with one of the loans that destroyed the economy. It was a $0 down, 80/20, with the 20% being an interest only loan for the first 10 years. About the only thing I didn't throw in there, for good measure, was an adjustable rate.

The second mortgage, for those who don't have experience with these things, worked like so: for the first 10 years, I only had to pay the interest each month. I could pay more if I wanted but the minimum payment was the interest. Then, for the 20 years after that, the loan amortized like a normal loan and would be paid off with the primary mortgage. My original "payment" was $141.70 for the first 10 years, and it jumped to $181.36 for the last 20.

$141.70 times 120 payments is $17,004. I am not going to get into specifics of exactly how much I paid for my house (it was low at the time and bought it in foreclosure... even if I am upside down right now). I will say that $17,004 is almost the original amount I borrowed. And I wouldn't have even started to pay the principal! In fact, according to the original plan, I would pay $38,229.34 in interest over the 30 year term of the loan. That is far more than the amount I borrowed.

Needless to say, this didn't sit well with me. I have been working on paying down the loan in earnest for a while now. My expected payoff is well before the 10 years would even be up. In that time, I expect to pay a grand total of less than $6,078 in interest. It might vary a little depending on if I have to slow down my payments or if I get a big tax return... so this is just estimation right now but should be pretty close. Call it $6,100 to be pessimistic.

I will save over $32,100 over the 30 years because of how I paid down the second mortgage. That's over $1,000 a year that I'm saving in interest. I'll be that much richer (if not more if I use that money in productive ways) because of this decision.

The only problem? This is "hidden" wealth. It's not like I will get a check each year for the money I saved. I won't be able to see it in any definite manner. In a few years, the memory of my "second" mortgage payment that I should be making will gently fade into the fog of time and the work I did now will be underappreciated by my future self. I can already know this is going to happen. It's happened with my car payment and even one of my student loan payments (which I haven't had for over a year now).

In this moment, I am motivated by the thought of what I am saving and the extra money I'll have "long term" but it's not real enough sometimes. I almost feel like it's imaginary and I'm fooling myself. I might have less "real" money in the long run than I am anticipating now but I also wouldn't be throwing huge chunks of my income to debt and keeping myself in near poverty conditions for years at a time.

Is this a bi-polar post or what?

[Edit: I realized, afterwards, that people even half as geeky as I am could easily figure out the amount of my 2nd mortgage and by proxy, my first mortgage and total home cost, from the numbers given above. There's more than enough... extra credit for figuring out the interest rate on the 2nd based on that information... lol]

A job I just can't take

2011-11-17T10:46:00.001-05:00

There is a job opportunity that I have right now that I could probably get. There is some lack of recent experience and specific experience in what they want but I have more than enough experience and skills in similar projects that I could probably get myself hired. The job pays nearly double what my current job offers.

But I can't take it. I'm tempted but there's just too many things preventing me from doing it. The biggest hurdle is that I would have to move. The job is 8 hours away from where I live. It's also 8 hours north of where I live, which is the wrong direction anyway. I can't sell my house right now without coming up with a huge chunk of cash at the closing. I am massively upside down in it. My house basically has me trapped.

Oh, sure, I could try and short-sale it or walk away. That's tempting to me and it's an option. But my girlfriend absolutely won't move that far away. She just got settled here, her family is here, and her son's father is here. The biggest issue is the son. The father won't let her move out of state with him so she's stuck here. If I take the job, I leave the relationship. I won't lie, it is a harder choice than it should be.

I am so miserable in my current job and there's nothing available in this area. There probably won't be anything available in this area for a long time, if ever, that pays this much.

But when I add it all together: the girlfriend, the house, and the possibility that I wouldn't get the job (or would and then they wouldn't keep me because I needed more time to get up to speed than they wanted to give)... it is a job I just can't take. It hurts though. I ache inside right now because it is something that would challenge me and I would probably enjoy doing (plus the extra money).

I must train the young one

2011-11-15T12:33:00.001-05:00

My girlfriend's son is a product of his upbringing. Today, on the way to drop him off at school, he tells me that my car is "old" and I need a "new car" because mine is "so old."

I tried to explain to him that my car works just fine and that there is nothing wrong with something just because it's old. But he was adamant, "new cars are better." Maybe they are but just because something is better doesn't mean I need it.

I am going to be a positive example for him. Someone who shows that buying things is not the solution to problems. I love my car. Well, I love it now that it's paid off. And when I get a "new" car, when this one dies, I plan on getting a cheap one that I can afford to buy in cash. I'm not ever going to have a new car. The idea doesn't sync with my desires.

His mom wants a new car eventually. Sigh

Free Chicken and Stock

2011-11-13T09:40:00.001-05:00

Well, the title of this is misleading. Yesterday my girlfriend wanted to make some chicken tacos. So she grabbed a package of chicken breasts at the store. The breasts were $4.99 a pound. I pointed out that we could get a whole chicken for less than that. Instead, we picked up a whole chicken for $4.71. I took it home and butchered it. That chicken provided 455g of boneless, skinless breast meat. That's pretty much exactly a pound.

So for 28 cents less, we got the same amount of chicken plus the rest of the chicken. I made a big thing of chicken stock last night from the bones and gizzards. Today I'll probably bake one of the thighs and legs for lunch with some rice. And I've still got a bunch of chicken left over.

Yeah, that's how I spent my "exciting" Saturday. Don't laugh at me!

There Are Days When I Grok Huck Finn

2011-11-12T09:26:00.001-05:00

But I reckon I got to light out for the territory ahead of the rest, because Aunt Sally she’s going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can’t stand it. I been there before. -- Huck Finn

The headlight in my car died yesterday. I can't afford a ticket so I went out and spent $9 for the new bulb and replaced it. That was cheap but reminded me of all the pending repairs I am facing.

The fence in my back yard needs to be repaired. One of the posts was rotten and snapped but I had propped it up to keep the fence together. We've had a lot of high winds recently and they must have caught the fence just right and snapped another of the weakened posts. So a large section of one side of my fence is now leaning at a 45 degree angle into the empty lot next to me.
The windows in my house are broken and worn down and need to be replaced as well. They'll stay open if propped up but they won't last forever like that. A couple of them are cracked too.
Some car hit my mailbox. They tore the door right off. In exchange, they left their mirror and chunks of the housing all over my lawn. I can't find the door at all. I was able to take the door off the rear of the box and put it on the front; my mailbox opens from the front and back. But now the back is exposed. I need to make a covering for that or buy a new mailbox.
My front door needs to be properly sealed.
My girlfriend wants to buy a dog door for the sliding door in the back. She's found one. It's $280. Before we can do that we need to fix the fence as well as extend the fence across the back yard.
. . . and the list goes on and on . . .

Last night my girlfriend bought new curtains for the living room and a new area rug for that space too. Then she bought new bedding. We have curtains! We had rugs! We have bedding! Why are we getting more? Because the other stuff is worn, ugly, stained, or whatever. My girlfriend is trying to 'sivilize' me! She even pointed out that I would be quite happy living anywhere as long as I had a place to sleep and a place to squat.

In a way, that's true. I do enjoy the comforts I have but I recognize them for what they are. I like being a dirty filthy boy. I like being able to fit all my important belongings in a couple bags in the trunk of my car and set out. Sometimes I feel trapped in my mortgage, my debt, my job, my house. . . my life! Where is the spirit of my youth?

I think, deep down, my drive for being debt free is to be closer to that dream. To be at a point where I could just go and do something different. Where I could up and move across the country or even to a different country in a weekend. "No," my girlfriend points out, "you can't just do random things whenever you want when you have a family. You need to plan and prepare and make sure things are in order."

The problem is that I'm conflicted.

Deep inside me, there's Huck -- determined to set out west.

At the same time, there's a civilized man who likes waking up in a warm bed and rolling over knowing he's going to find the woman he loves next to him.

Why can't I have my cake and eat it too?!

New Weight Loss Bet

2011-11-11T09:10:00.000-05:00

I am just not sticking to my diet. I need more accountability. I need real accountability. I know I said I would post my weight here but y'all are too nice to me. I need cruel. I need vindictive. I need merciless. In short, I need family!

A couple weeks ago, I called my mom to discuss a possible bet and the terms associated with it. As I have stated before, money isn't hugely motivating for me when it comes to losing weight. At least not money in the sums that I am willing to wager. You see, poker has ruined me for monetary weight loss bets. I refuse to bet more than I am willing to lose comfortably. This is great for poker because it provides the ability to be fearless and aggressive and not get upset if you get unlucky. This is horrible for weight loss bets because that same resignation towards a possible loss removes the incentive.

I know it seems weird for someone who obsesses about every penny, like myself, to not be upset about losing a monetary bet but that's just the way things are. My "gambling" money is distinct from my "working" money and I don't let the two mix. I also have no leeway in my "working" money budget to risk any of it. So it would have to come from the other funds.

What do I bet if I can't bet money? I bet suffering and pain. I bet boredom and tedium. I bet experiences and not items! My family is nothing but a collection of sick degenerates at times so I knew I could get my mom to take the bet.

Our bet is simple, although the terms spelling it out are detailed to avoid confusion. Every Friday morning I weigh in (until a specific date). If I meet my goal weight 4 weeks in a row, my mom skips church and goes out to breakfast with me and my girlfriend. If I fail to meet my goal at any weigh in, the breakfast count resets and I need to attend church with my mother on Sunday morning. I never go to church. I haven't been in years. I consider it a waste of my time. My mom jumped at these terms because she desperately wants me to go to church and be saved.

I know those terms don't sound motivating to some of my readers. But I am an atheist and I treasure my Sunday mornings. They are my personal day of rest. The idea of getting up and going to church is repugnant to me. I will do almost anything to avoid it. My mother, on the other hand, never misses church. But she's taking a risk here too. Once a month, if I meet my goal each week, she'll have to skip church and spend Sunday morning the way I prefer, with a nice meal and good company.

It's not the same as my bet with my sister, where the other person got to inflict a certain amount of physical pain or suffering on you. But it's still enough to keep me going.

I weighed in at 166 last Friday. Yeah, I had a big, salt-loaded meal the night before to make the number I started at nice and high -- it's not cheating! My goal this week was 165. If I weight 165.0 or lower, I am safe. But anything over that amount and I've got to get my butt to church on Sunday. The goal weights are calculated in a way that benefits me and avoids crash dieting or getting too stuck behind the 8-ball. For example, losing 4 weeks in a row doesn't mean I have to drop 5+ pounds in the 5th week to make my goal. I still only need to drop 1 from the week before.

I weighed in this morning at 162.8 so I am safe. My goal weight next week is 164. That seems easy but it's not. Also, things can catch up with me here if I don't stay on target.

Anyway, that's what's going on. Hopefully it keeps me on track.

Twelve Month Budget Update

2011-11-10T10:05:00.001-05:00

Like I said before, I've made my budget for the next 12 months and it wasn't pretty. I was running short by a bit when I put in the most accurate predictions.

I have decided to up my car maintenance budget as well as my gas budget. I am leaving the food one alone and going to stick to it as much as possible. I ended up dropping my debt snowball by $55 a month. This had the following horrific effects:

My debt free date moved from April 2013 to May, 2013
The total amount of interest I will pay jumped up $29.35

Oh the pain! I guess I can live with that. It makes my budget a whole lot closer to reality and it doesn't cost me that much.

The hardest thing will be sticking with my food budget. I know it is possible but it is going to be hard to stick to.

I don't know how some people make it

2011-11-10T08:53:00.000-05:00

Recently, at work, we got an email reminding people that jeans were only to be worn on Fridays and that we needed to dress professionally. I didn't think too much about it and figured that some teacher was seen wearing jeans. Personally, I think it's ridiculous to dictate what sort of clothing a teacher wears if they are competent in other areas. I know many 1st and 2nd grade teachers who really ought to wear jeans because it would allow them to work easier with the children. But that's all besides the point. I rarely wear jeans, except for Fridays. I am not even tempted because I only own one pair of jeans that fit me.

I eventually learned that the email wasn't directed at a teacher. It was directed at my paraprofessional (aide) in my classroom. Apparently he wore jeans one day when he wasn't supposed to. I hadn't noticed. I work with him all day; it obviously wasn't a big distraction for the school environment. Anyway, the administration decided to come down and reiterate the policy.

From these events I discovered that my aide does not have enough dress pants and can't afford to buy any right now. How does a grown man not afford $20 for a pair of slacks at Wal-Mart?

Well, he makes less than $9 an hour. He works 180 days a year for 7 hours a day. They divide this pay by 26 to "make sure he still gets paid over the summers." In short, every two weeks he gets under $430 and that's before taxes and insurance comes out. I know he works the after school programs and summer school to help supplement this income but that's just insane.

How does he survive? And is it any wonder he can't just go out and drop $20 on new pants whenever he's told to?

Early Direct Deposit

2011-11-09T08:52:00.003-05:00

My direct deposit arrived this morning instead of tomorrow morning. I don't technically get paid until Fridays but my money tends to arrive the day before. I guess it arrived today because Friday is a bank holiday.

As soon as the money arrived, it was on its way out again. I had a credit card bill to pay and to move money back into savings. And, of course, a big chunk of the paycheck gets put into my account specifically for summer pay. I also spent time arranging my payments to avoid bouncing when my mortgage payment comes out at the end of the month.

I feel like I am slowly getting a handle on my budget again. I am not repaying my savings account as quickly as I would like but it is slowly refilling. It also helps that my girlfriend is almost done paying my back for the money she borrowed.

Chicken and Bean Paella

2011-11-06T16:47:00.000-05:00

I am currently cooking my lunch for work for the next week. I've decided to include a couple chicken breasts this time so it's not strictly vegetarian but it's not like I try all that hard to avoid meat anyway. I just keep my consumption low and work to keep it low. It's like I tell my girlfriend about everything, "Life isn't about being perfect all the time. It is just about trying to be a little bit better most of the time."

Anyway, this dish includes the following wonderful items:

2 chicken breasts
3/4ths cup black beans (dry)
3/4ths cup black eyed peas (dry)
3/4ths cup white rice
Can of lime and cilantro diced tomatoes
Sliced Mushrooms
Green Olives and Jalapenos (I found a jar of these mixed and am trying it out)
1 lb frozen broccoli chunks
assorted spices

The end result is five servings of just under 350 calories (24.3g of protein and 11g of fiber) each. I'm quick soaking the beans now. I'll then cook them until they're right. I'll cut the chicken breasts into cubes and cook them lightly in a pan (non-stick of course) with the mushrooms, tomatoes, broccoli, and olive mix. Then add 1.5 cups of water with my seasonings and the beans. Bring it to a boil, cover, reduce the heat and simmer until the rice absorbs all the water.

Life doesn't get much simpler than that. This is one of my "bachelor" survival recipes and staples around here. So I know it will be fantastic. And I'm throwing on a movie to watch while the beans cook and I get some work done for tomorrow. It's raining and chilly out. So a nice afternoon at home is what the doctor ordered.

More information on my student loan

2011-11-05T10:38:00.001-04:00

A while ago I realized that my student loan has an adjustable rate. I promptly forgot this information and continued on with my life. It really doesn't have a major impact on me anyway.

Well, I was recently thinking of changing my loan repayments to be sub-optimal (interest wise). The reason being, I owe about the same amount on my second mortgage as I do on my student loan. And the difference in the rates was like 2%. I'm hoping to pay them both off in the next 18 months. But I was trying to think of the worst case scenario.

Say I lost my job or had to move. I could walk away from the house, which I am very upside down in. My credit would be trashed and the bank could sue me for the amount they can't recover. Yeah, my state does allow that. It used to be rare but thanks to people walking away, it's getting more common. In that case, I would just declare bankruptcy and it would be discharged. The mortgage debt can go away if things turn ugly. But the student loan debt never will. So if I paid the student loan debt first, in the worst case scenario, I would end up debt free (with trashed credit but it's all the same). In the way I am currently paying it, I would still have the balance on that student loan and my trashed credit.

Anyway, I was going to sit down and figure out exactly how much this "insurance" would cost over the 18 months. That is, I was going to calculate how much it would cost in extra interest to focus on the student loan first. Then I remembered that my student loan was variable. And it was a LOT lower than my mortgage. When I ran the numbers, it would cost me almost $400 in extra interest to pay the student loan first. Forget that! The chance of the worst happening is fairly remote. If it had been under $100, I might have considered it. But not for $400ish.

Anyway, while on this track, I actually called up my lender and found out the facts on my student loan. Yes, it has an adjustable rate. It adjusts monthly based on the LIBOR. That's not too bad, especially with the bottomed out rates that are currently happening and are likely to keep happening. Anyway, the short version of this story is that I know what my loan varies by and the amount I have to add to that index to see my current rate.

Aside from being slightly more educated on my own debt, nothing's changed.

Annual Budgets are Scary

2011-11-02T13:17:00.000-04:00

I was reading this post (from MMM) and decided to run my budget from November to November for the next year. I did a similar thing except that I used a spreadsheet. Who honestly uses pencils and paper these days?

I first made my calculations based on my budgeted numbers. When I did that, I had a grand total of $153 over the course of the next year. The problem is, I have been consistently going over budget and I've come to believe that my numbers are not realistic. I wanted realistic data so I decided to go and look at my actual spending patterns.

I looked at the past two years and weighted the past year more heavily than the year before. For example, I have a food budget of $220 right now. In the last year, I have averaged $379 a month and the year before it was $274 a month. The weighted average suggests that my budget should be $344 a month. I'll let you think about the implications of that for a moment.

I have $153 extra for the year. My realistic monthly expenses, just for food, run $124 higher than what I have budgeted. The cost of food alone wipes out my excess in under two months. There are similar issues with gas and car maintenance. My utilities actually comes in a little lower than what I budgeted but I am not going to change that.

With my projected numbers, I run about $1,800 into the red by next year at this time. And that assumes I can hold to those projections, some of which are lower than my recent months' spending.

I have things I can work with. I am currently saving $1,800 a year. But I am not going to cut it there. I could reduce my debt snowball. This is, by far, the biggest outlay in the budget. I could reduce it without slowing things down too much. But I hate to do that.

It's not as bad as it seems. I have a lot of wiggle room, a lot! But it is a little shocking how much out of whack things have gotten.

As an aside, the biggest annoyance, in my eyes, is our "technology" spending. With our internet, TV, and cell phone plans combined, we spend nearly $3,600 a year on the monthly payments. If I had my way, which I don't (let's not even pretend), I would work to cut those back significantly.

Halloween Horror Update

2011-11-01T14:50:00.001-04:00

I have one true fear. I have gotten better with this since I was a child but it still causes lingering anxiety. What is this fear? Needles. I've always been afraid of them. I actually started donating blood as a way to face my fear. I know that's an extreme way to deal with the issue but I'm not someone who does things in a subdued manner. What is it about needles that really sends a shiver down my spine? The thought of the needle scraping or hitting a bone or tooth. The thought just brings cold chills to my body.

Yesterday, I had to go to the dentist. I was due for a cleaning and also a couple fillings. I knew I was going to be on the wrong end of a needle so I had steeled myself against that fact in advance.

So there I am, reclining in the chair, with a stick of numbing gel shoved against my cheek and gums. From the hallway, I can hear the dentist talking to someone else.

"You can do it," he entreats.

"I don't know," a female voice says in an unsure tone. "I haven't done it before."

"It's fine. You've got to do it eventually and you know what to do."

This conversation carried on in the same general manner and hushed tones for a couple minutes. The dentist giving a pep-talk to an unsure person. Shortly after it ended the dentist popped in.

"This is [name.] She is training to be a..." the dentist began. I went hazy at this point. I gathered that she was training to be something and was going to be the person administering my injection. I comfort myself, when facing a needle, by convincing myself that the person is trained and experienced and knows what they are doing. There was no such comforting delusion here. This was her first go at jabbing a real live person and she wasn't confident about her own abilities to do it.

As she gave the shots the dentist provided various pointers and guidance such as, "change the angle to be more parallel with the root," and so on. This is my own private nightmare, conveniently brought alive on Halloween.

In the end, everything went perfectly. I barely felt the injection and she didn't hit anything. But it was nerve-wracking for a while there.

----------------------------------------------------------------

After that, we went trick or treating. My girlfriend had heard about a really nice neighborhood that supposedly gave out the best candy. Of course, so had everyone else and it was a mad house. Cars were parked over a km away from the entrance in each direction. As we walked around, I was just amazed at a hidden cost of living in this community.

Almost every house was well decorated. This is Halloween... not Christmas. I can't even imagine the costs of their [probably] elaborate Christmas decorations. And they not only have to provide candy for the children in their own neighborhood but also for hundreds of others. And they did buy the brand name and expensive candy. I can only begin to imagine the hundreds of dollars they spend to keep up with appearances just for that night, in their neighborhood.

Add to that the financial situation many of the people probably are in. Currently houses in there are selling for $450k+ and this is after a huge slump in value. These homes were hit especially hard and the average mortgage is probably well over a million for those houses. Even the cheapest house at today's prices ($450k) represents a significant monthly expense (probably well over $3k a month just for mortgage, insurance, and taxes) and that's before the expensive maintenance and landscaping. Throw in the hidden costs of trying to keep up appearances for everyone else and I can't even imagine what they spend.

And jobs dried up around here. Things are really bad. I walked around the entire night and could only imagine secretly desperate people drowning in mountains of debt.

I'm a real buzz-kill sometimes.

How do Parents Manage to do Anything?

2011-10-26T08:58:00.000-04:00

Sunday night, the kiddo had a fever of 102F. All that afternoon he had been crying and complaining about a stomach ache. We did what we could to make him comfortable. Monday, he slept a lot but seemed better. There was no school. Tuesday, we went to give him a bath before bed... he's got a rash on his thigh and groin. This morning, his feet a dotted all over and his hands are slightly dotted. I was thinking chickenpox at first but he's been vaccinated. It's still possible but rare. Then apparently there's a foot and mouth virus that usually strikes infants but can also strike at any age with similar symptoms to what he has. Regardless, I'm home with him today and we're calling the doctor to find out what it is and when he can go back to school. His grandpa is in town so if he needs to stay out tomorrow and Friday, he will be over there. Someone explain to me how parents manage to do anything at all when kids are sick all the time!

I am back on my diet and the weight is turning back around now. The last couple weeks were a set-back but that's life. Things aren't always the pretty and smoothly trending lines that I like so much. I've got my meals planned for the day and I am sticking to them. This is about self-control and little else.

As for the budget, it's not pretty at the moment. My girlfriend is going to be giving me a bunch of money today towards what she owes me and the money we spent this weekend. I will have all the money I need to pay off the credit cards in full and put some back into my savings. But it's not as much as I wanted to put back into savings this month. I hate having my emergency fund as depleted as it is.

I started trying to get a handle on my Christmas shopping. We have agreed on a $200 limit for each other. My girlfriend really wants a kindle touch. As it so happens, I just finished my wellness coaching with my insurance. As a bonus, they gave me $75 in gift cards. I took them for amazon. I will use those towards the kindle. I've already saved the $200 (and a little more) for Christmas gifts. I'll only have to use $125 of that for the rest of what I get her (and the remaining cost of the kindle). I will probably take the "extra" $75 and donate it to something. I suppose I could use it for bills or other gifts but I already had it set aside for a reason. The gift cards were expected. I'm not sure, yet. I guess I should treat the gift cards as income and move the $75 back to my normal accounts.

Oh, my home owners insurance went up $120 a year. That's another $10 a month and because it's an escrow, my mortgage will probably go up by more than that amount. It doesn't really matter. I over pay the main mortgage by rounding up anyway so my current payment is probably more than the new one.

Wow, I guess a lot has been going on since I last posted here. It's been a busy couple of weeks.

I am refocused and back

2011-10-24T08:39:00.001-04:00

This weekend, I went completely offline while I went to Disney with my girlfriend and the kiddo. We had a great time. We did stay and eat on the property so I spent a lot and ate too much. But I'm back today on the old plan. I am caught up with all my work and have enough stuff in the house to not need to spend much money for a while.

I do need to go get some eggs today but that can wait for a few hours. I've got a cold or something. That's a present from the boy. LOL... he's sick too. I guess he timed it right since we both had today off anyway. My school gives us a day off to finish grades before report cards. This isn't as nice as it seems. You see, the 8 hours they "give" us off have to be worked before we take them. It is part of how they justify parent teacher conference week. We stay an extra 4 unpaid hours a day, 5 days in a row, and then get 8 paid hours off.

I know that sounds like a horrible deal but the alternative is working those extra 20ish hours anyway and getting nothing in return.

Manic Monday

2011-10-17T09:09:00.001-04:00

This is parent conference week at my school. It means long days. I come in two hours early and stay about three hours late each day. I also have four IEP meetings this week. Why do the people in the office think I have no problem working 12-13 hour days without a break? You see, IEP meetings are held during my normal break times. Usually I might have one in a week. But this week I have four as well as the conferences before and after school. I've also got to get all my grades in and my lesson plans up to date. I've been working on that for the past week or so. I've got to fit that into everything else I've got to do each day.

Today is also great because I have a half day training at noon. So I need to leave work and go to the training. Then as soon as the training lets out, I need to rush back here for conferences. Friday, as soon as I am out of work, we're rushing for a mini-vacation. And this upcoming weekend will be busy too. So I've got a long period without a break coming up.

I ate far too much on the weekend. I'm done with cheat days on the weekend. No more cheat days, period! I am sticking to my calorie limit every single day from now on. If my girlfriend wants to eat out, it will have to be at a place where I can afford to eat. This weekend wasn't her fault though. She was out on Saturday evening and I went and got a big thing of Chinese food for lunch/dinner. No one forced me to do that. I am responsible for my own eating patterns.

I also didn't "train" much this weekend. I did help my girlfriend's father move though. So that was a workout.

Anyway, I might not be posting much this week. I haven't been posting much last week either. Now you know why.

Fat Friday

2011-10-14T07:16:00.000-04:00

Last Friday: 162.2
This Friday: 163.4

Change: +1.4
_______________

Yep, I'm still solidly stuck in the 160-163 range. It's driving me crazy. I guess it's better than being stuck in the 215-220 range though.

I have also started working in more running (run/walking at this point) and beginning strength exercises. So I'm hoping to get more in shape despite the scale.

I am not happy about this week but whatever. There is always next week. And I know I snacked too much this week and had several bad days due to stress. There really is no excuse though.

If you're seeing "N/A" for today's weight, it means I've forgotten to go an update this weight. I will get to it as soon as I see it. You can feel free to mock me if I fail to put a number up or if I post a gain instead of a loss. Heck, you can mock me if you feel like my loss wasn't big enough. LOL

I Feel Like I am Walking on a Treadmill

2011-10-11T09:53:00.000-04:00

I talked to administration yesterday about my coworker. They acknowledged that she has a reputation for this sort of thing and expressed shock and horror at what has been going on in the classroom. At the same time, they said I need to be more forceful and use "I" statements to make my desires more well known. They also told me that I should improve my plans to make her duties during my teaching time more explicit. So there is no doubt about what she needs to be doing. I'll work on those but I know neither will resolve the problem. But I guess we need to go through all the steps.

Despite the stress, I was determined to stick to my diet last night and was good. I stopped right at my calorie limit. Then my girlfriend asked me if I would make her breakfast for dinner. Not just her normal egg sandwiches but also homemade hash browns. It was very hard to cook up a batch of hash browns and not eat any. OK, I picked to make sure they were crispy and tasted right but it was just a pinch. I managed to do it but that was hard on me.

I had a hard time waking up today. I was exhausted last night but couldn't sleep. I woke up with the dog and after he went to the bathroom, we went back to sleep on the couch. I ended up sleeping an hour past my normal time. But that still left me with time this morning to get ready and do my exercise. I wasn't running today and the strength stuff doesn't take as much time.

I dream of having no responsibilities and just being able to focus on my mental and physical health for a while. Wouldn't that be awesome? Right now I feel like I'm not making any progress on anything.

Blue Monday

2011-10-10T09:20:00.001-04:00

I am getting a little tired of it always raining on the days I am supposed to be running.

I ate a lot this weekend but I am back on track for the week. I'm going to stick to my calorie limit. I am doing my daily exercise even though I only ran half the planned distance this morning. I got started later than I should have and was pressed for time. This afternoon, I'll walk with the dogs around the block and just take it semi-easy.

I am a little stressed about money but not too much. I need to wait until my next paycheck to pay off the current credit card bill. I don't like doing it that way (I like to pay it as soon as the statement is cut) but it's not the end of the world. I will pay it in plenty of time before the due date.

My biggest stress right now is work related. The person I work with is unbearable and I can't do this all year. I honestly can't. I was looking for other jobs on Friday. Unfortunately, there are none in the county and out of county jobs are going to be much harder to land. This afternoon, I am going to talk to my boss about what is happening and going on in the room. I have a couple ideas that could solve it. One of them would triple my work-load but I would gladly do it to get away from this person. We have 20 students during the day but see 24 different ones at various times.

I would gladly take the 5th grade (14 max at the same time but 18 different students throughout the day) and let the other teacher take the 6th grade (6 students all day long). I would gladly handle all the load for the bigger group of students -- as opposed to half the load of all of them -- if it meant I wouldn't need to work with her.

Fat Friday

2011-10-07T09:30:00.000-04:00

Last Friday: 160.4
This Friday: 162.2

Change: +1.8
_______________

Probably Going to Push too Hard

2011-10-05T10:00:00.000-04:00

First off, I have been over eating in the evenings. Snacking mostly and on things that aren't part of my food plan. I finished off the coconut last night. That's a horrible snack because it's loaded with calories. I'm going to try and refocus.

But the main part of this article is my worry that I'm going to push myself too hard. There are 150 training days left until I run from the zombies. I'm really excited about it and it shows. I tend to obsess about things that excite me. That also means I tend to overdo them.

Most of the training things I've been reading suggests taking days off or cross training. So I've decided to "run" every other day and on the no-run days, I'm going to alternate between improving my push-ups/stomach and pull-ups/squats. Now, I can't do a pull-up at this point. But I'm working towards it. Considering there are obstacles on the course, I rather expect that I'm going to need to be able to get up and over things. So I'm slowly building on these things. It's still a bit harder than is fully recommended -- since I have no "off" day completely. But I'll take a day off if I need it. I really don't want to give up on this but I also want to make a lot of progress and it feels like I won't make enough if I am taking days off.

I'm also trying to decide what I am going to run in. Not clothes but rather footwear. I don't wear shoes outside of work. I don't own a pair of sneakers and I don't want to get one. I plan on training and running barefoot. I walk barefoot a lot and I am slowly transitioning some running into that. Now, I don't know that I want to run barefoot for the 5k. The terrain will be unfamiliar to me and uncontrolled. I am thinking of finding some soft soled leather moccasins to run in. I might want to find those sooner rather than later because it's going to get cold here.

I'm still not 100% sure though. I do know I don't want to run completely in sneakers. I respect my legs, feet, and knees too much to do that to them.

Food Plan for the Week (500th Post)

2011-10-03T19:25:00.001-04:00

Yay! My 500th post! That's a lot more than I ever expected to make on here.

I had oatmeal for breakfast. And I was pretty good on my plan today. I did have a cheese stick at work. But it was free and only 80 calories. I had a pretty good day with my food. My food plan this week isn't as firm as the last couple weeks. I don't have a solid menu. That's because I have a bunch of leftovers and I made enough new stuff for snacks and lunch this week.

I didn't eat all my food last week. I've got about 3 dinners worth of the lentils and rice. I'm actually going to divide that up to make 5 days. And have 3 instead of 4 tortillas with it. That's just under 340 calories. I am not sure how to calculate the daily cost. It would be about 25 cents worth of food but technically it was "paid" for out of my last week's budget. Of course, the reason I didn't eat it was because I at other stuff instead (I didn't do well). So I should count it. I've also got some vegetables that I didn't eat. So dinner would be about 45c this week.

My lunch cost me about 40 cents. It is a chickpea salad on toast. I've got a bunch of roasted chickpeas for a snack. That's about 15 cents. So my work total is only 55 cents. I am probably going to eat some more of my leftovers tomorrow for supper. That makes a daily amount of about $1.00 for lunch and dinner based on what I plan on eating. The bad thing is my lunch is only 220 calories. The snack is 110. With dinner and lunch, I'm getting like 850 calories. Throw in my oatmeal or egg and toast... I'm at only 1,000 a day. That's too low. I can add some other stuff. Of course, I have plenty of money to do that and stay under my $3/day average.

I'm probably going to have either oatmeal or an egg and toast for breakfast. That's about 24-30 cents. I've fot plenty of money left. I bought a coconut and a spaghetti squash today while I was out. I'll probably make the squash tomorrow or the next day (in place of the other vegetables). I cracked open the coconut to show the kiddo today. He was interested in it but wouldn't try it. I had a little but not too much. It's a high calorie food for what it is.

I've got to stay on top of my food budget and my calories one too. The last week was really bad. I ate a ton of food Friday night and over the weekend. I probably averaged over 3k calories a day for those 3 days.

New Jeans

2011-10-03T09:37:00.001-04:00

On Friday, I went to the store and bought new jeans. They were from the boy's section. They're a husky size but still pretty small compared to what I was wearing a year ago. I also won't need to roll up the pant legs. Yeah, I needed to roll the legs on my old ones. I'm short.

I want to keep losing weight so I can get down even more. Yeah, I'm a sick person.

But regular sizes are a couple bucks cheaper than the husky ones. Although all of them are cheaper than the men's sizes.

Fat Fridays

2011-09-30T09:30:00.000-04:00

I have been doing miserable with my diet lately and feel like I need more accountability. Towards that end, I'm going to start posting my weight and the change every Friday morning. I've got to make progress each and every week! I am working on this post Monday morning. According to my trend-line I have lost 0.09 pounds in the past week. I am tired of saying that holding steady is better than gaining. It is but losing is even better than holding steady.

Last Friday: 162.2
This Friday: 160.4

Change: -1.8

I did horrible this week and have no idea how this went down.
But it did and next week I'll be lower!

I Don't Believe in Exercise

2011-09-29T09:29:00.001-04:00

I don't believe in exercise. Oh, don't get me wrong. I know it exists. I also know crack cocaine exists. But, like crack, I don't do exercise. I will do some exercise but not regularly and not with any dedication. I bought my bike intending to ride it and get in shape but it's just sits there in the garage, a testament to my sheer tenacity when it comes to avoiding exertion. The coach here at my school mocks me for taking the elevator when I am capable of walking up the stairs. I respond by stating my intention to get a golf cart to lug my frame from one side of the campus to the other.

I am dedicated to not exercising. I know this is bad but every physicist will tell you how much stronger static friction is than kinetic friction. Is that the lamest excuse you've ever heard? Am I really stretching to find excuses here? See!!! This is how hard I will try to not exercise. I spend as much energy and time finding reasons and ways to not get in shape as I would if I just went and did it.

When I was in college, I participated in a 5k for charity. I didn't want to do it but it was required by a social group I was a member in. A friend of mine and I carried a cooler full of "drinks" for the entire course and walked it. Participating in a 5k isn't something that has ever struck my fancy.

That is until now. Yesterday I found this: http://runforyourlives.com/ It is a 5k race. But they throw in a bunch of obstacles and zombies. You heard me right, zombies!

I admit it. I am tempted to do this. It costs $67 (if I register now) and I would need to drive to a place where it is. But the closest one is in Atlanta, GA and I have a fried who lives there. I have talked to him and he's up for it if I am. I am not 100% sure, yet, but I swear I am so tempted.

If I did it, I would need to start exercising to prepare for it. I wouldn't want to be the first one turned into a zombie on the run.

Could you eat on $30 a week?

2011-09-28T08:00:00.000-04:00

Over on CNN I found this article, while I was browsing the web. At my $3/day budget for weekdays, that would be $21 a week. I don't find that to be very hard at all. It is a little boring at times but I even come in under budget. Of course, we'll see how long I can keep this up before I go crazy.

But it is less about money than it is about focusing on my diet. OK, it's a little about money too.

What a Bad Month for the Budget

2011-09-27T07:38:00.003-04:00

I told you things have been bad lately. This is grabbed from my mint overview page. For those of you who don't use mint: red is over budget, yellow is right on budget, and green is under budget. I cut this in a way as to not show the specific budgets or spending for each area but trust me, it's a lot over. My total amount over budget for the month is almost a grand here.

I roll most of these budgets over from month to month. So the ones that are read will start with a balance next month. I am hoping I can at least reduce the amount I am over by. I am thinking I can certainly do that with my grocery shopping if I stick to my budget. I am not over by very much from this month and I plan on sticking to what I have in the house and my weekday cheap plan.

The shopping one will slowly go down, I hope. But then it also has to pay for Christmas stuff and other holiday related stuff that is coming up. I don't have very much saved towards those expenses right now but I guess I have enough.

Now, I might go and double some of these budgets because I'm splitting them 50/50 with my girlfriend. For example, the utilities budget will probably be over next month but we're going to split it. So it won't really be over by what I am spending. The same with the mobile phone. I really want to see what they're probably going to be like each month before I change it though because the amounts won't really double.

My goal next month is to have more green and yellow budget areas!

Leftovers Mini-Casseroles

2011-09-25T15:31:00.000-04:00

I mentioned that I had some leftovers from the week. I took half of the dinner leftovers and decided to layer them in my mini-dishes here. I'm calling them my "Leftovers Mini-Casseroles."

OK, I know that these aren't "technically" casseroles but I don't know what else to call them so I'm sticking with that. To be honest, I'm not 100% sure what makes something a casserole or not and even Wikipedia didn't help clarify it for me. It's a baked starch with a protein and vegetables (from the salsa)... close enough for me.
There's a layer of seasoned rice, a layer of seasoned beans, a layer of salsa, and then a couple slices of processed cheese. Hey, I never promised these were health food!

They work out to 330 calories each or 660 for both. Technically, I budgeted for eating both of them but I doubt I'll be able to do that. I haven't tried them yet so we'll see how they turn out. I just prepared them for dinner later.

I actually think they'll turn out pretty good. I know what the rice, beans, and salsa taste like together. Basically I'm just melting a bunch of "cheese" into it. How could I go wrong with that plan?

I still have another serving of rice and beans left. I'll find something to do with it during this upcoming week. I'm out of salsa but I have hot sauce I can squirt on them.

Really Cheap Week

2011-09-25T12:46:00.000-04:00

So I made up my menu plan for the upcoming week. And even with a $2 bar of chocolate from World Market, my total for the 5 days is less than $10. I will break the chocolate up and have a little throughout the week. I also have some food left over from last week. I have some pinto beans and rice and some crunchy chickpeas for snacks. I'll count those calories when I eat them but I'm not counting their cost towards this week because it was "paid" for last week.

I even have more vegetables than usual. I made a big salad from a head of lettuce, green pepper, onion, and some pickles that I had in the fridge. I'll have to eat that in the first couple days because it will go bad. I've got some frozen veggies to go with me to work each day. I might keep them for dinner though. But I pre-portioned them just in case I want to take them to work.

I made kidney beans and rice this week for lunch. It has onion, carrots, garlic, and tomatoes in it so it's also full of veggies and goodness. I really need to go through and start cleaning out my pantry a little at a time. I've got a bunch of food that should be used up.

But not this week. The menu is complete, cooked, and set aside for each day. Now I just need to behave myself during the week and not snack (outside the amounts I already have budgeted in).

Credit Card Spending by Month

2011-09-24T08:40:00.002-04:00

I am very OCD about tracking my credit card use and spending. I know exactly how much I have charged, to the penny, on my cards since I started using them. Each month, when the statements cut, I put the balance into a spreadsheet to track my use. If I made a payment during the month, I add that to the balance, so the amount that is there represents the spending for that statement period. There is some lag here because these points represent the spending of the month before. Two of my cards cut at the end of the month so there's not a whole lot of apparent lag there and it really doesn't matter for these purposes.

This first graph is the one that scares me the most. You can see my average monthly spending is trending upwards over time. I started spending about $600 a month on the card. The rise up to almost $800 isn't really that big of a deal. I slowly started adding more monthly bills to my cards (water, internet, and so on) and that represents most of that rise. And some of the rise in the last three months is adding the mobile phone bill, cable bill, and others to my credit cards. Not only are these bills higher than what I was paying before but now they're showing up on the chart when they weren't before.

It's not pleasant and I really want to stop and reverse this trend. I would prefer to have my average monthly spending be between $800-$850.

This shows my actual spending each month. Two big spikes a year represent my car insurance payments (since I pay in full every six months). But look at those last couple months. And those aren't because of insurance. It's other spending. Some of it represents the "loans" to my girlfriend but some of it is just other miscellaneous spending. We've been eating out too much and driving too much. My gas and food budgets are out of control.

I already have a $600ish balance on my cards for the upcoming month. So I am going to have to take it really easy if I want to stay under $850.

On the bright side, over all this spending I have averaged just over 2% cash back. That helps a little.

I Hate Dairy

2011-09-23T10:24:00.001-04:00

This post is nothing but TMI. You might want to skip it.

I am lactose intolerant. I have been all my life. This doesn't mean I can't have dairy. If you're not lactose intolerant, you might be shocked at how capricious it can be. It can be very hard to predict how bad a reaction will in in advance. It is even hard to predict what sort of reaction it can be and how long it will last.

Some foods are usually fine. For example, most hard cheeses (like cheddar) are not a problem but the softer ones can be touch and go depending on how much lactose remains at the specific time you consume it. What is a problem is often impossible to guess. It also varies based on what you eat with it and how much you eat with it. It is fickle and volatile. Because I don't always get punished for eating dairy and often the consequences are not that bad, I am not one of those people who avoids it completely.

Anyway, Wednesday night we went out to Outback for dinner. I ate way too much anyway and to top it off, we split dessert too. It was a large ice cream thing. Ice cream is one of the worst offenders for me. It varies, again, and sometimes I'll barely seem to have a reaction at all. Other times, my gut rumbles like a demon is trying to claw its way out. That can be embarrassing but it sounds way worse than it is. Sometimes it's cramping. Other times I get diarrhea (told you this was a TMI post). A lot of the time I'll have really bad gas. Sometimes I get both the diarrhea and gas. That is easily the worst possible combination and it has the potential to cause major "problems." I am fortunate that this isn't the case this time. Any or all of these can happen at the same time.

This time, it's gas. A lot of gas and cramping. I still am suffering today. I am also stuck in a small classroom with a bunch of people. So I have to control it and leave the room whenever possible to seek relief. I smell like hot death. What is that? Think two-day old roadkill in the summer. It is horrendous. I know it's not the beans because I soaked them in a manner that helps prevent gas and I wasn't having an issue Monday through Wednesday when I was eating them. And I've experienced this with ice cream before so I have no doubt as to the cause.

Ice cream, why do you have to be so delicious and so horrible at the same time?!?!?!

I seriously just want to lie in bed, hold my stomach, and wait this out. With the window open and the fans on, of course. The girlfriend has been in awe over the volume and intensity of my gas during the last 24 hours. I've done pretty well in hiding this from her up to this point and I've been fortunate to not have had an intense episode. OK, maybe "awe" is the wrong word to describe her feelings. I think appalled might be closer. I don't know how much longer it will take for this to run its course but right now it is consuming my attention.

Getting Stuff in Order

2011-09-22T10:31:00.000-04:00

I am very congested today. The teacher I work with has been sick and I think I caught it. My head hurts and I'm tired. The biggest thing I hate about teaching is the constant exposure to germs. I will feel better eventually but right now I feel icky.

I ate too much yesterday when we went out. But I'm back on the plan today and I am going to make up for yesterday by eating my weekday "plan" on Saturday.

I spent this morning going through my emails at work and putting everything that applied to me in my calendar or otherwise handling it. This might not seem like a big deal but I had 500+ messages that I needed to slog through. My calendar has only a few days without anything happening.

OK, it looks worse than it is. I had to add reminders to put out the trash and recycling each week because I constantly forget to do that. It also has a bunch of birthdays on there and other minor stuff. But I did add dozens of meetings and things I need to do. Some of them were through the end of the school year but it still was a lot of work.

I haven't eaten breakfast yet. I'll have it in a few minutes. That will push lunch back until later in the day and it will help me avoid the desire for a snack after work. I need a nap.

Money Update

2011-09-21T08:00:00.000-04:00

I haven't been talking much about my finances lately. Sure, I've talked about how stressed I've been about them but I haven't talked any specifics. There is one big reason for that. There just hasn't been a lot of progress. You see, I paid the "extra" towards my mortgage before the summer started. And I've been making the interest only payment over the summer. I end up throwing the same amount of money towards it but I save on the interest because I put all the extra up early and the lower balance remains to compound. This month, September, will be the first month back on my "normal" payment plan. So that number should drop soon enough. But for the last few months it has been stable.

My biggest news was the student loan forgiveness. That's all taken care of. I actually got my "Paid in Full" letter from one of my lenders yesterday. But the remaining loan is on the back burner while I focus on the second mortgage. So there's not a lot to write about there.

I am a little stressed about the girlfriend moving in because I am not as in control over the expenses as normal. We're splitting stuff and she's contributing but I feel like the bills are going to be higher than normal. We also have cable now and that's a new bill. We'll see how things work out in the end but I am used to micro-managing everything and it's not happening.

To make matters worse, she has borrowed money from me. I've talked about this here. She's paid back over a grand of what she's borrowed. But there's still a lot of money out there that needs to be paid back. And some of the credit card bills are coming due. The side benefit is that this is a 3 paycheck month so I won't need to borrow from my savings to cover those bills. The downside is that I've already borrowed a big chunk from my savings and need to pay it back as soon as possible. I know I'll get the money but I'm just not used to having so much out there and floating around.

At this point, I am going to wait until after the 30th to pay off the statement balance. It cuts on the 25th and isn't due until the 23rd of next month (or something like that) but I usually pay it off the day it cuts. Not being able to pay it right away bugs me in a way that's just stupid and proves my girlfriend right about how anal I am when it comes to money and paying things off.

She hates owing me money because of how OCD I am about it. I hate that she hates it but I also can't help feeling the way I do.

A Dinner, a Snack, and a Plan to Cheat

2011-09-20T19:00:00.001-04:00

So tonight I got home and roasted those chickpeas. I made two batches: one Cajun seasoning and the other salt, pepper, and garlic.

While those roasted, I made dinner. This is what I am having for supper this week. I am alternating between broccoli, peas, and carrots but the base is the same. That small glass is my daily ration of salsa. Laugh all you want but that's what one fifth of the jar works out to be. I put the corn tortillas into the toaster oven and bake them until they're crispy. It's a lot of food. I suppose it should be. This picture is about 700 calories worth of food. Then again that's about the amount of calories in one Whopper sandwich from Burger King. And this is a lot more food.

The chickpeas came out great. I had a small sample of them. All said, I am right at 1,400 calories for the day. So that's good.

Tomorrow I might be off the plan. But let me explain!

You see, Outback had a promotion where you could get a free steak to try their new wood fire grill selections. I signed up for it and got the coupon last week. The problem is that you have to go Monday through Thursday. This is always going to intrude on my 5 day vegetarian period. So I'm going to just go tomorrow night and eat my standard meal. I'll be getting the free 6oz steak with a steamed vegetable side. That's normally what I get and it's under 550 calories.

Since I have 5 days of food prepared, I'll eat my dinner tomorrow on Saturday or Sunday evening. I'll stay vegetarian on one of those days as well. For the most part, tomorrow is more of the same. I'll have the same breakfast and lunch as planned. The only change is dinner and that's unavoidable unless I want to send the girlfriend without me. She doesn't even want the steak I normally get so the coupon isn't even good for her.

If we don't go tomorrow, we'll got Thursday. I guess I can't really complain about a nice discounted meal out.

I'm Feeling Extra Stressed Today

2011-09-20T12:43:00.003-04:00

I have a bunch of grades that need to be put in before Thursday. And that is one weight that is stressing me out. Also, the teacher I am working with is driving me crazy. She's upset because a couple of her students are failing subjects I am teaching them. She wants to know what she needs to do. She doesn't need to do anything because they have earned those. She freaks out about the minor things and then ignores things I consider important. She's just driving me crazy. And it seems like she needs to check in with me before she does anything. Instead of having half the stress and work, I feel like I have double.

Money is also stressing me out but not as much as normal. I am still wishing everything would be normal again but that probably won't happen until next month. I don't know. I am stressed about a lot of things but nothing too specific.

Ugh, ate too much and cooked too much this weekend

2011-09-18T20:05:00.000-04:00

I ate like a pig the last two days. Right now I am so full I am uncomfortable. But we had a great dinner with my girlfriend, my sister, my sister's daughter, and my sister's boyfriend.

I got around to cooking some food for tomorrow. I made black beans and rice for lunch. I know I was thinking of the pinto beans with rice and veggies for lunch but I changed my mind. Instead, I'll have that for supper and the black beans and rice will be for work. It's really good food and doesn't take much preparation except heating it up.

I still need to roast the chickpeas tonight, for snacking. But I might not do that. I might just stick those in the freezer and not make them for a snack. That would cut my fiber back by 20g a day and shave $1.13 off my total (I'm only spending $11.60 for this entire week). I am tempted to do it just because I don't think I'll need the extra food and it reduced my excess fiber. I can always pop them out of the freezer and bake them if I am feeling the need for something crunchy. And I'll know they fit into the plan even if I do that.

So yeah, my weekly totals (with chickpeas) are:

Calories: 6,819 (1,364/day)
Cost: $11.60 ($2.32/day)
Protein: 56.6g/day
Fiber: 79.9g/day

So yeah, my weekly totals (without chickpeas) would be:

Calories: 5,972 (1,194/day)
Cost: $10.47 ($2.09/day)
Protein: 44.3g/day
Fiber: 60.1g/day

Cutting them out does hit my calorie and protein numbers pretty hard. But seeing all this food, I don't think I can add them back in. We'll see. They are there as an option if I feel the need to add something. I am seriously thinking of following the second one. After this weekend, I don't feel like I'm going to be that bad if I stick around 1.2k calories a day anyway.

I also was not as meticulous on my accounting for costs this week. I just estimated the costs of the spices. It should be close because I used the numbers from last week to get an idea and I measured those out as exactly as possible. I did add some olive oil to the black beans; yes, the cost of the oil is accounted for in the above numbers.

I still haven't cooked the rice for tomorrow night. The pinto beans are cooked but unseasoned so those will need to be done as well but that will be quick. I just don't feel like cooking right now. At least all the big work is done right now.

Oh, that reminds me that I need to fold and hang my finished laundry. No rest for the wicked.

Thinking of a New Weekly Menu Plan

2011-09-17T14:42:00.001-04:00

After last week, I'm thinking of going a 5/day frugal vegetarian thing during my work week. I'll still eat out on weekends (as well as have meat then if I want it) so it won't impact my girlfriend's desires all that much. She really likes to go out on the weekends. Also, sticking to this during the week will help keep me on my diet and provide more money for the weekends. It's like a cheat day built in but for pretty much everything. Pretty much because there still is a big budget that must be followed.

Anyway my plan is for the following:

Monday through Friday I can only eat the food on my plan. The plan must meet the following specifics:

Vegetarian: although not necessarily vegan -- dairy and eggs are permitted in small amounts
Total cost to execute less than $15
Vitamins, tea, coffee, and soda don't count against my $15 limit but soda should be in moderation
The average calories per day must be between 1,400 and 1,600 while I am on my diet
Must have at least 40g of protein a day
Must have more than 20g of fiber a day

Those last two points are both a joke to accomplish. In the menu I am working on fleshing out for next week, I'm currently at 53g of protein and 77g of fiber a day. This, by the way, is too much fiber. I might reduce the amount of pinto beans I am eating because they have the highest amount of fiber per serving. Then again, I might not. If I eat this much fiber, I will need to drink tons of fluids. I do that anyway. I drink at least 2 liters a day if not more.

The menu right now is:

Snack	Roasted seasoned chickpeas
Breakfast	Instant Oatmeal
Lunch	Seasoned pinto beans and rice with steamed broccoli and carrots on the side
Dinner	Black beans with salsa and lettuce on corn tortilla

The black beans are more than just beans. It's onions, green peppers, garlic, tomatoes, and seasonings. It's delicious on its own. With a little salsa on top of a tortilla, it's amazing. The roasted chickpeas are a crunchy snack and are amazing. They're $0.23 a serving which is more than some bagged chips but they're better for you.

The pinto beans and rice will also have onion and garlic in there with seasonings. That's a simpler meal but one I really enjoy.

The total cost right now is $13.00 and the calories are only 1,150 a day. This is going to change when I finalize stuff tomorrow. I probably won't use all the broccoli and carrots for this plan. I might cut the pinto beans back and add in some other stuff. I'll probably use some oil too, for cooking. That will add about 50 calories a day when spread out over the 5 days. That's still not quite where I want to be for the calories.

Again, the most expensive stuff is the vegetables. The broccoli, tomatoes, and lettuce are almost 50% of the costs for the week and they're about 10% of the calories. In any case, this needs a little bit more tweaking before it will work out.

I might cut the beans down and add more rice. Maybe have rice with dinner too. That will cut the fiber down and up the calories.

Final Day of Eating for $1.50

2011-09-16T07:00:00.000-04:00

Today is the last day. I have to admit it was no big deal. I had plenty of fiber and protein so I barely noticed how little I was eating. Granted, I recognized that I was slightly hungry at times but that is the same hunger feeling I get every so often because I am working on losing weight. At no point did I feel an "I need to eat or I am going to die" hunger.

Here's what I ate yesterday:
Thursday

Item	Cost
Coffee x 2	$0.12
Iced Tea	$0.064
Egg and Toast	$0.175
Chickpea Salad on Toast	$0.49
Lentils, Rice, and Tortilla	$0.37
Peas	$0.20

Total $1.42

And here's my plan for today:

Friday

Item	Cost
Coffee	$0.06
Iced Tea	$0.064
Egg and Toast	$0.175
PB & Jam	$0.40
Lentils, Rice, and Tortilla	$0.37
Peas	$0.20

Total $1.27

Week Total: $6.62 ($1.324/day)

So I came in with room to spare. Here's some photos of what I ate this week.

Breakfast every day (Microwaved scrambled egg on toast)

Lunch was one of these two (PB&Jam or Chickpea Salad Sandwich)

Dinner was lentils and rice, tortilla, and peas.

The dinner looks a lot more substantial on the plate. Believe me, when plated, I would look at it and think, "There's no way I can eat this much." I am a horrible photographer or I would have taken a picture of this on the plate and with the peas. But what is done is done. This picture doesn't make it look like much.

That was pretty much it except for the iced tea and coffee. Not a whole lot of food, I will grant that. But it was not that bad either. If I wasn't trying to lose weight, I would have probably cut the coffee entirely and created a 4th meal in there to fill everything out. I would have come closer to the $1.50 limit but it would be doable.

Poverty and Protein [Day Four]

2011-09-15T07:00:00.000-04:00

I was skipping around the web today and looking for stuff about this challenge and came across the log of someone who did it. They were complaining about how miserable they felt. They talked about feeling cranky and dizzy. Then they mentioned that someone told them it was because of a lack of protein in their diet. She then talks about protein deficiencies and how people (especially children in extreme poverty) end up getting sick from this lack. They end up getting most of their calories from carbs because it's cheaper.

If you go back and look, you'll see that I was acutely aware of my protein intake when I planned this diet. I even made some adjustments to bring it up closer to the general recommended amounts. Looking back, I think I might have made a small calculation error that might account for a 2.5g error in some of the numbers. But I am not sure and I am feeling far too lazy to recalculate everything right now. In any case, I'm not worried about it. I knew, going into this, that getting adequate protein is important and something to focus on. In my normal eating, I don't worry about it because I end up eating meat.

But I was a vegetarian for a couple years and that experience made me aware of both the methods and the need for protein when not eating meat. Since I knew I wouldn't be eating meat because of the cost, I defaulted to checking the amount of protein I was taking in to be sure it would be right. That experience is actually what makes me confident that I don't need to worry too much about protein. Even as a vegetarian, eating a semi-balanced diet of 2000+ calories a day, I consistently was getting more than enough protein without trying. This is different though because now I would be eating fewer calories and spending less -- which gives me an incentive to focus on foods lower in protein.

Now, I obviously was acting on information that I knew and others in extreme poverty might not. I've already ruined the purpose of this experiment (if it was valid -- which I never assumed it was) by that one acknowledgement. My schema already includes an understanding of the need for certain macro-nutrients. In extreme poverty, where good education and access to nutritional information is unavailable, I wouldn't even know to check to see if I was getting the right amounts.

But this raised a question in my mind. How much protein, at a minimum, do I really need? How far off my mark would I have been if I stuck with oatmeal and my cream cheese and jelly sandwiches? Would I have still been over the real lower limit or would I have been under it and at risk of harm if I continued this eating habit for an extended period of time?

So I tried to answer this question and discover what my minimum protein requirement actually is. It turns out that this is not as simple as it seems. I finally found a site that talked about it [http://jmyarlott.com/food/protein/] and offered a calculator. This site actually discusses the costs of meeting the requirement for many people. It's actually pretty interesting in relation to what I've been rambling about above.

According to their calculator I need from 37g [2,304 calories] (sedentary) to 41g [2,640 calories] (lightly active) each day. That probably describes my level of activity. If I started really working out and exercising more it gets up to 53g-59g. Of course, for those levels of activity I am also burning over 3,500 calories a day and spending several hours performing heavy physical activity. I'm not there. As I get closer to my goal weight and goal activity level, my minimum requirement is around 45g. I think sticking to the 50g recommended is pretty safe and sane for me.

Anyway, my lowest protein option (34g) was pretty close to my minimum but just under. Chances are, I would have been pretty miserable if I did go that route. But it would take a while to really catch up with me. Everything beyond that lowest option put me over the lowest number and most of then put me over the 41g mark. So I was doing fine.

As for the diet of the person who made me think of this post, it's hard to tell for sure what their protein intake was. They did list the foods they were eating but not the amounts. In any case, it is something to be aware of.

I'm Halfway Through the Week

2011-09-14T09:22:00.000-04:00

Last night I was running a low grade fever (99.5) but I took a couple aspirin and went to bed. This morning, I still feel a little under the weather but no fever and I went to work. The kiddo is feeling great and seems back to normal. I told his teacher about yesterday and said that if he even looks the slightest bit under the weather, we'd take him home.

I managed to triple book my afternoon. I have two different workshops that I am supposed to attend right after school (one on Bullying and another on Online Testing) as well as a vet appointment for the puppy. I'm probably going to go to the vet. I will also be able to deposit a check into my account on the way. So I will kill two birds with one stone. I need to mow the back yard too. There's way too much on my plate today.

So the menu plan for the day:

Wednesday

Item	Cost
Coffee	$0.06
Iced Tea	$0.064
Egg and Toast	$0.175
Chickpea Salad on Toast	$0.49
Lentils, Rice, and Tortilla	$0.37
Peas	$0.20

I had coffee this morning. But just one cup. So my cost today should be $1.36. That's only 1,101 calories though. So I might add something later tonight if I feel the need. I haven't so far because my meals have been really filling. It's not too bad. I'm feeling good about how I am eating. I could try and add something more but I don't feel the need. I'm also getting back on track with my diet and am breaking out of the plateau I was on.

I won't lie. I am enjoying this activity a lot. I had a dream last night of doing it for a whole year (upping the calories to maintain weight once I hit my loss goal). It would be $550 on food for a year. That's less than most people spend in a month. I'm willing to be some people, who eat out often, spend more than that every two weeks. I don't plan on actually doing that. It was just a dream. It would never work because of holidays, birthday parties, vacations, work events, etc. But I might be able to incorporate a few weeks like this. Maybe one work-week a month of eating like this. That would be 60 days in a year.

Why am I at Pizza Hut?

2011-09-13T17:36:00.001-04:00

Why did I go to Pizza Hut tonight? I can't afford to do that on my $1.50 a day plan!

It's true. I can't. My girlfriend sent me there to pick up some pasta for her. She didn't want to cook and didn't want pasta I made. Basically, she just wanted their stuff. She gave me money and sent me off to fetch her food.

I found it a little ironic. Her pasta and bread sticks came out to $7.49 after taxes. This one meal, that I went to pick up, was my entire weekday food budget!

Anyway, I came home and sat down to my meal while she had that. She offered me some but I told her I couldn't. She tried to say it would be fine because I didn't pay for it. But I didn't fall prey to her temptation.

Besides, I hardly needed to. I'm not exactly hungry. I have 400g of rice and lentils for dinner. That's almost a pound of food! Throw in 89g of peas and I'm over a pound of food and I haven't even touched the tortillas yet. So it's not like my stomach is growling.

I liked the chickpea salad I had for lunch today. I liked it enough that I turned the rest of the chickpeas I cooked into more. I have 2.6 servings of it now. I'll probably have PB&J one day and chickpea salad sandwiches the other two.

It was a pretty good day. My girlfriend's root canal went fine. She's no longer miserable and that's nice. It wasn't cheap but it's a good reminder of why she needs dental insurance. She needs a crown too. That's going to be a very expensive thing. But when I went to leave work, I went to pick up the kid. He looked miserable!

He's sick and running a 100+ temp. He's complaining of hurting and his chest aching but he's not coughing or congested. We suspect the flu. Hopefully he's better tomorrow but if not, I'm probably going to miss another day. My girlfriend doesn't have any more sick leave to use. I do. So it's pretty obvious which one of us needs to stay at home with the kiddo.

Tired Tuesday

2011-09-13T09:10:00.002-04:00

I am really tired this morning. Probably because the puppy has been up since 4am. I also chose to not have coffee this morning. I just drank a little of my iced tea to try and get moving. It isn't nearly as effective. I didn't sleep well last night anyway. I was worried about my girlfriend because she's miserable and she wasn't sleeping well either.

I did fine yesterday with the eating. I was a bit hungry by the time I got home but that was because I got home really late. I was so hungry I forgot to include the peas with my dinner. The peas are the single most expensive thing included in my plan. This left me at $1.27 for the day.

Monday

Item	Cost
Coffee	$0.06
Iced Tea	$0.064
Egg and Toast	$0.175
PB and Jam	$0.40
Lentils, Rice, and Tortilla	$0.37
Chickpea Salad	$0.20

I decided to try a recipe for chickpea salad that I saw online. It's basically chickpeas, mayo, mustard, vinegar, onions, and some seasonings. I worked it out and a serving of it is $0.39. So I made 1.5 servings. I tried half a serving last night, which took up the cost of the peas, and will eat the full serving with bread today for lunch instead of peanut butter. The chickpea salad is 330 calories. That's less than the PB and Jam. But I still think it will be better. This adds 9 cents to my costs for the day. I'm still under the $1.50 for the day. The meal plan for today is:

Tuesday

Item	Cost
Coffee	$0.00
Iced Tea	$0.064
Egg and Toast	$0.175
Chickpea Salad on Toast	$0.49
Lentils, Rice, and Tortilla	$0.37
Peas	$0.20

This is $1.30 for the day. I could technically fit in some coffee or add the broccoli tonight but we'll see how I am feeling about it. Aside from being hungry when I got home yesterday, I haven't really been hungry much on this plan. There's a lot of beans and they keep me full. Yesterday I didn't get home for over an hour past the time I expected to because I was stuck in a store waiting for antibiotics. You have no idea how hard it is to be hungry, stuck in a food store, and not buy anything to snack on.

Eating for Under $1.50 a Day

2011-09-12T08:47:00.000-04:00

I was bouncing around the web and saw this thing about living below the extreme poverty line. And it challenged people to spend 5 days spending less than $1.50 a day on food. There was a lot of other stuff related to it but the thing that interested me most was the challenge. I figured it would be easy with beans and rice. I've been trying to flesh out a "boring" but tolerable menu for that amount that also hits my calories for the day too. At this point, I think I've got it.

I am not going to obey the rules completely because I'm not really doing their challenge. They would want me to pay for a whole container of something and not just the part I might use during the 5 days. Their challenge allows (and encourages) teams to buy those larger items as a group and split them so they can split the cost. Well, I'm not going to be a group so we can pretend I'm splitting it or we can ignore such trivial matters and focus on consuming less than $1.50 worth of food each day despite the costs of obtaining the whole container.

This isn't to say that their original thing doesn't have some merit. Right after I typed this (Saturday night) someone posted a help request on reddit where they showed their bank balance of $11.92 and they said they had no food and asked what they should do for the next 7 days. That's about $1.70 a day for 7 days. And they're not able to prorate costs. If they buy a jar of peanut butter, they have to absorb the entire cost right now. I'm just not willing to play that game. It would end up costing me more because I would have to rebuy stuff I already own. My advice to that person, by the way, is pretty similar to what I've outlined below. I suggested staples that will provide a bulk amount of calories to subsist on but only costs about half their working fund. And then they have the rest to supplement it with other items like eggs, corn tortillas, vegetables, or whatever.

Meal	Description	Cost	Calories
Drinks	1.75 Liters Unsweet Tea	$0.064	0
Breakfast	1 egg with a slice of toast OR Bowl of instant oatmeal	$0.175 $0.20	110 130
Lunch	Cream Cheese and Jam Sandwich OR PB and Jam Sandwich	$0.42 $0.40	305 480
Dinner	Lentils and Brown Rice with Tortillas and Frozen Peas	$0.57	581

I wanted to see how large a jar of peanut butter from the dollar store was but they didn't have one. I was going to use that as a baseline for calculating the cost for a PB&J sandwich. I grabbed a thing of cream cheese instead. I'll have cream cheese and jam sandwiches. I like those anyway. I probably like them more than PB&J. The problem is that cream cheese has fewer calories per unit and you'll see that I'm under my calorie targets.

I found a receipt for the peanut butter in the house. We got it as buy one, get one. It's the big jar. If I use 3 TBS a day (12g of protein and 305 calories) it would use $1.74 for the normal price and $0.87 for the amount I did pay for it. Since I could get cheaper peanut butter (this is brand name and at Publix which is expensive) I calculated the costs based on what I did pay. The assumption being that I would buy cheaper peanut butter if I really was buying it. I originally planned on using two servings but that's 4 tablespoons. I don't like peanut butter that much. I think even three is pushing the amount I'll eat in a sandwich.

I picked up 8 medium eggs, 6oz of cream cheese, and a jar of strawberry jam for $1 each. I'll use 5 of the eggs and just over half the jar of jam. So I've prorated those costs. I'm planning on using one fifth of the cream cheese per sandwich so I've put it in as 20 cents towards the cost of the sandwich if and when I have one. I've also allowed myself a breakfast substitution in case I am running late. I can have the instant oatmeal instead. It is 2.5c more and a few more calories. The only reason I want to avoid this is protein. The RDA is around 50g. I want to get as close to that as possible. If I was seriously stuck to buying the whole amounts and not using prorated amounts and costs, I wouldn't allow substitutions. I wouldn't be able to afford that flexibility.

I am getting plenty of fiber. I'm hitting about 34-37g of fiber a day on this plan. The recommended amount seems to be 20-35g so I'm on the high end of that. Wikianswers says that the average fiber intake in America is 5-10g a day. That seems pretty low but I am sure there are days when I get down that low.

I am working on sticking to my diet goal this week so having so few calories is fine. I've cut out the coffee. But the iced tea will help me from going into complete caffeine withdrawal. I drink about 1.75 liters a day anyway. Of course, there's no room for my soda for the next 5 days. If I choose to have coffee, it will cost me about $0.06 per cup with the cost I paid for my coffee and the amount of grounds I use for each cup. I can make one cup at a time and I use a French press so there's no filter costs to figure into the price.

I'm going to take my daily multivitamin -- I should see how much that costs per day -- because this is hardly a healthy or balanced diet. I've got one green vegetable a day in there. That's pretty bad even for me and I've spent months eating TV dinners. It would be possible to do this and hit 2000 calories a day by adding more rice into the daily plan. Rice is very cheap and has a bunch of calories. But since I'm still working on my diet, I'm not going to do that. The variety of foods you could include would probably go down if you're not trying to lose weight because you need to cut them to make room for extra "empty" calories from rice and such.

I am at $1.20-$1.23ish for the cost per day and hitting almost 1,200 calories. So it's workable to me. I figured my vitamins cost about 4 cents a day. So I can afford them even if they come out of the food budget. If I have the peanut butter and egg options, I get 48g of protein. That's just a hair on the low side but it's workable. If I opt for the oatmeal and cream cheese, I will be at 34g still and at 45g with the oatmeal and peanut butter.

I'm going to try this. It will be boring and miserable but it's something to do. Is it sad that I am bored enough to do stuff like this from time to time? For these amounts, I could add a serving of frozen broccoli a day ($0.196 a day and 30 calories) and probably will.

No Jalapeno Bagel Day!

2011-09-10T07:12:00.000-04:00

Every year, in September, I read a book called Jalapeno Bagels with my class. After we were done with the story and mastering the vocabulary, we would celebrate with "Jalapeno Bagel Day." I posted about it last year on September 22nd because that's when it happened to fall last year. It's one of those "flexible" holidays that OCD people hate so much because they're never on the same date but they happen roughly the same time each year.

OK, maybe it's not OCD people who hate those sorts of holidays. Maybe it's me because I constantly find myself getting the dates wrong for them. That never matters with "Jalapeno Bagel Day" because I set the date and there is plenty of warning and lead time to get ready for it. It is such a magical day of carbohydrate overindulgence and socializing. We have bagels (both jalapeno and normal), breads, cream cheese, lox (which I admit to never having tried), butter, jam, and all sorts of other stuff. We sit around and the kids try the bagels and socialize. We talk about our cultures and just have a nice relaxing celebration. I think the end of September is a good time for a day like that. It's far enough from the start of the year and the next big fun day is Halloween and that's at the end of October.

Anyway, I'm rambling and getting off the point. This year, I don't think we'll be having Jalapeno Bagel Day. It isn't because I am on a diet this year. Being on a diet sure does put a damper on things because bagels are so calorie filled but that wouldn't stop me. A rare binge day isn't the end of the world. And since most of the bagels would get eaten, there wouldn't be weeks of extra bagels here and there. The problem is that they've moved me up in grades. So the vocabulary and community lessons are no longer aligned with the standards that I have to teach. I could get away with this, if you want to think of it that way, when the vocabulary from the story included many words from the grade level vocabulary the kids needed to know anyway. I could get away with it when I could integrate the social studies concepts of community and culture into the lesson too. I don't think I can do that this year. There really isn't a way to cram that specific book into the standards.

This leaves me with two choices if I want to have Jalapeno Bagel Day. I could ignore the standards and do the book anyway. This isn't really possible because we don't have time in the day to do stuff that isn't related to our goals. I can't give up the class time to read the book and learn the vocabulary. The second choice is to just have the celebration anyway without having read the book. That's not going to fly with my school either. It was barely acceptable when the celebration and stuff we did could align with what we'd been learning. To just have a "party" for no reason at all isn't tolerated.

I suppose there is a third option. I could find a new book that works with our standards and has a food component. I prefer food that most of my students haven't tried. Half of my kids are learning about the different parts of the world so maybe I could do something with hummus or some other food that they probably haven't tried but I could figure out how to make. If I could find a book that worked, I could do a different "[Food Type] Day" at the end of this month. That's a lot of work though and I need to get started yesterday!

I miss Jalapeno Bagel Day and it wouldn't have even happened yet!

Happy Friday: Random Updates

2011-09-09T09:39:00.001-04:00

I am so happy it's Friday. I woke up today and thought it was Thursday all morning. I even heard the garbage trucks a couple streets over and thought to myself, "I need to remember to put the garbage out tonight because we have a lot."

Well, obviously I didn't do that. So it will have to wait until Tuesday to get picked up. They only do recycling once a week so that will have to wait another week. Both bins are pretty full because I recycle everything possible.

One of my credit cards closed yesterday. It's the other big one I've mentioned before. That will be paid off in a few days. That's not the final big one though. My girlfriend bought a new bed. We put it on my other card and she'll pay me back for it. So that card is high too. But I am still determined to keep things low this month. This is a three paycheck month so I'm actually able to handle all my bills without her paying anything back. But with her paying things back, everything will be back to normal for once. I am looking forward to things being right.

Once she has completely paid me back, she is going to give me a big chunk of each of her paychecks. That will be to cover the bills and rent but there will be extra. The extra will be going into a named savings account for her. This will be her savings. She doesn't trust herself with easy access to her savings because she'll spend it. So she wants me to keep it in my accounts so she needs to go through me to get it. I wish she would develop faith in herself to manage the money but at he same time, it is good because she will have that money building up if she needs it.

My application to be a bone marrow donor finally got processed completely and I've been added to the bank of donors.

Dear [Name],

Thank you for joining the Be The Match Registry®. Your registration is now complete.

As a member of the registry, you are listed as a potential donor for patients searching for a match. If you become a possible match for a patient, we'll contact you with the next steps. You could be a match for a patient soon, many years from now, or you may never be the best match.

So that means I can get a call from this point on to donate for someone in need if I am a match. In a way, I don't want to be called but I also want to be called at the same time. I want to be able to help someone in need but donating is not convenient and a little scary. Most of the time it's like giving platelets or blood but a small percentage of the time it requires more invasive methods. I hope, if I ever get called, it's the easier method.

Cheap and Filling Dinner

2011-09-08T08:00:00.000-04:00

Last night I made some chicken and rice. I cheated because I was out of chicken stock so I used chicken bouillon that I had. I meant to add about 2 tsp but I spilled a bit more than I expected onto the scale. So it was about 4 tsp. Look at that rice! Can you say cheap source of mega calories? Sure, it's 6 servings of rice and I expect this to make about 6 servings when complete. But that's a big helping. The total is 1,635 calories or about 275 calories a serving. The serving size is also 254g. This is almost 9oz. That's on the high end of what the frozen meals are (6-8.5oz usually).

Item	Amount	Approximate Calories
Chicken Breasts	487g (about 1 pound)	515 calories
Red Kidney Beans	4 servings (prepared from dry)	140 calories
1 Onion (chopped)	130g	55 calories
Brown Rice	252g (1.5 cups)	900 calories
Chicken Bouillon	16g (about 4 tsp)	25 calories

I forget the costs of some of these things but the chicken was $1.88 a pound for the boneless and skinless breasts. The rice that I added was probably $0.15 worth. Onions are not cheap but this was probably $0.25 worth of one. Throw in the brown rice for $1.50 (it's about half a pound and brown rice is pricey). Then some random seasonings and garlic. Say everything else was $0.42 worth. This makes the numbers nicer and work out evenly. It costs $4.20 to make this dish of 6 servings. That is $0.70 a serving. It's not that much cheaper than my banquet meals and has about the same number of calories.

OK, I grant that I could make this cheaper by using white rice and less chicken. White rice would also probably get closer to the quality of ingredients used by banquet meals. Not that it matters all that much. It works in my budget as is and into my diet as is. Plus, I had a pound of chicken left over from the BBQ we held on Sunday and if I didn't use it, it was only going to go bad.

Oh, there's also fiber in this meal! Which is not something you find in the banquet ones. Of course, the picture shows a critical lack of vegetables. I could pair this with a serving of frozen veggies. I probably should. The sodium levels are also likely to be extremely high. I love salt and salted this at every step of the way. There's also salt in the bouillon powder. But sodium intake isn't one of the metrics I use to consider myself living well. Just calories (for the weight loss) and cost (for the debt reduction). So it's all good!

It was delicious. I was tempted to have a double portion but I didn't. I'll have some for lunch today though.

I am such a nerd

2011-09-07T09:29:00.003-04:00

I have been having a lot of fun creating forms in google docs to track various things. I use them to track my contacts with parents, behavior issues, and all sorts of other things. I've even created one that tracks our monthly bills and will calculate my girlfriend's share. It also tracks the amount she's given me and does everything automatically. It's a lot of nerdy fun.

I am feeling better today. Yesterday, I was sent to bed at 6pm because I was being cranky and miserable. I slept until 4am this morning. I needed that. I've been up since then and had my coffee and breakfast. I'm feeling good about today.

It is going to be a long day too. We have open house tonight. The parents come in and see the classrooms. I have to admit, despite being a teacher, I don't know the difference between "Meet the Teacher" and "Open House." I really don't see the purpose in having the two of them 3-4 weeks apart at the start of each year. I don't get a lot of parents to either one of the events. I have the same students a couple years in a row so the parents know me and my classroom; they don't feel that it is important to come into the school.

I've been eating horribly for the last three days. I wasn't feeling well and used that as an excuse. My weight has been trending up because of that. I'm back on the program now and will try and counteract the past few days. I am not going to feel bad about eating enough when I am feeling sick. My body needs energy to fight off whatever is attacking it.

Rumor has it that a couple of my students are smoking. I am unhappy to hear that but, unless it's happening here, there isn't a lot I can do. I'll talk to them about it later today. Calling home is unlikely to effect anything. I don't think they'll care about my opinion. I guess time will tell.

I don't feel well today

2011-09-06T10:26:00.000-04:00

I feel "off" today. I am not quite sick enough to justify staying home but I don't feel completely well enough to work either. I'm here at work now and I am just trying to get by. I hate days like this.

I've felt a little bad all weekend. Not sick but not completely well either. I ate horribly this weekend and maybe that has something to do with it. I need to get back on the diet. I joked with my girlfriend that I was having withdrawal from the Banquet meals (since I haven't had any since Thursday and was feeling wrong all weekend).

It might be stress from work and money stress too. There's a lot going on and I wish everything would just be settled into a normal pattern.

Clothes Shopping

2011-09-05T11:28:00.001-04:00

My girlfriend has been complaining for a while about my clothes. They are too baggy for her tastes. I used to wear an XL in shirts. I always liked them a little big but large shirts were tight. Who was I kidding? Anyway, I am down to a medium in shirts now. I have a bunch of large that I bought after the weight loss bet ended but even those are a bit too big. I still keep a couple XL ones I really like.

Anyway, I don't want to spend a whole lot on clothes now because I am still losing weight and determined to reach my goal. The girlfriend doesn't want me to look like a bum for the next few months. So today we went to the Goodwill and I looked for clothes. I found 6 shirts that were in great shape and good for work. I found two pairs of slacks in good shape that fit my waist and will do for a while. They are a bit long but all my pants are.

In all, it was $34.24 after tax. That's not too bad for what I got. I just wish things were better organized by size to make it less of a chore to find stuff that fits. Also, 90% of the pants people donate are 40" waists or larger. Seriously! Compare that to the $75.19 I spent on clothes in April. I bought them at Wal-Mart and got 3 shirts, 2 pairs of pants, and a belt. The pants were cheap, $10ish if I recall and the shirts were like $12 each. Still, it was a lot cheaper and some of the shirts I got are nicer. I say "some" because one of the shirts I bought today is a Wal-Mart brand shirt. But I like the specific type of shirt it is and they look good on me and hold up well (for what they're worth). It looked brand new too. So it was a 67% discount but still a "cheap" shirt compared to some.

Anyway, it was a pretty good trip. And I finally got my girlfriend to see that second hand clothes aren't a horrible sin. She found 3 pairs of shorts for her son. All three were less than the cheapest ones she can buy new and in great shape. She is coming over to the dark side.

One last thing, I found this book in the store. Look at the cover... Doesn't it scream "pre-recession?" OK, I know this is from the '80s and not the '00s... but this was the motto for a long time. In fact, I put "Nothing Down" when I bought this house.

I think my remaining student loan has a variable rate

2011-09-03T07:09:00.001-04:00

I have been listing my remaining student loan in my [personal] chart with an APR of 5.67%. This is because when I first created the charts, that is what it was. Today I went and looked at my details and the rate is currently 2.72%. Yes, it's true... I didn't know the rate of my loan. I was ignorant to the fact that the rate was even variable. I don't even know for sure that it is right now or what index it is tied to.

I guess I can't complain. It just means that if rates start rising, I will need to pay careful attention to it and see if it climbs higher than the rate on my second mortgage. I should call them and try to get the official details.

It's just proof that I only tried to become more aware of my finances a few years ago. Through college and right after, I just went with the flow and assumed everything would take care of itself if I only borrowed as much as I needed and then paid the minimums or a little more each month.

As a bright aside, I think the poker site finally cut me a check! I need to run and pick it up though. If they did, that will be great. I won't actually use the money for anything right now but I will have it on hand. That makes things a lot better.

Friday is frozen dinner free day.

2011-09-02T07:24:00.001-04:00

So our first paycheck of the year arrived today. As expected, it is lower than it was last year because of the 3% cut. There's not a whole lot I can do about that except adjust where necessary.

On to brighter news. I'm taking a break today from the frozen dinners. Not that I don't love them but I want one day off. So I am going to have a roasted chicken leg, rice, and broccoli for lunch. Sadly that's like 510 calories compared to under 300 for the frozen meals. I'll survive. Tonight I was thinking of having beans with some dish. I am not sure. I could also have some vegetable curry that's in my freezer.

This weekend I need to sit down and seriously organize my pantry. When my girlfriend moved in, we put everything in there and it's a mess and hard to know what we have. There's also stuff that I normally don't eat so it is not easy to tell at a glance what I have and need. I don't think I need much of anything right now.

That's nice and I am going to try and reduce what is in there by eating what we have before shopping for more food.

Oh, and I spent $25 yesterday on snacks and motivators for my students. Those probably won't last very long. Maybe 3-4 weeks at the upper end of the range.

Happy Friday everyone. I get to wear jeans today! Of course, then I am standing out in the heat during recess wearing jeans and dying from the temperature but that's not the point. I still get to wear jeans.

Teacher Appreciation Rant-Mode=ON

2011-09-01T18:31:00.002-04:00

Warning, extremely long and ranting. Not aimed at anyone just me venting in general. Venture through this post at your own risk. This is a response to comments from my previous post about teaching but also just general ranting about expectations for teachers compare to the compensation we get.

We work 10 months a year, not 8. And I made under $40k until just last year when they gave us a "raise" that finally pushed me just over that. Of course, with the 3% cut that followed, I am back under $40k realistically. And I have almost 6 years of experience. I'm not a starting teacher. Forty-five thousand isn't great pay for the job. Also, during our "free summers" we are expected to attend trainings and workshops... most of which are unpaid. So we end up paying for gas and other expenses to go and getting nothing back for it. Oh, we get more knowledge about how to perform our job well but most people see us as glorified babysitters so why would we need more trainings?

My first year teaching, I had 3.5 weeks of "mandatory" workshops over the summer. I have to use quotes because they can't legally require you to work without pay. But part of your evaluation is professional development and if you refuse to attend trainings, you could end up with a poor evaluation and lose your job. You can miss a couple but if it's a pattern or you skip them all, it will reflect very poorly on you. This is especially true in the first 1-3 years of teaching where they can let you go for virtually any reason. After that, they would have to mark it on your evaluation and give you a chance to correct it. So you'd still attend the workshops except now you're doing it under more overt pressure.

During the school year, you typically work 50-60 hours a week and barely manage to get everything done. I've spent Christmas breaks working through the break to try and get ahead for January. Of course, none of that time is paid for. You are expected to hold conferences with every parent at least twice a year (often more). With 24 kids (the amount I see right now) that's 12 extra hours of unpaid work... and that's just if I manage to keep each meeting to 15 minutes. They never end in only 15 minutes. Those are official meetings. You're expected to keep regular contact with most parents. For the population I teach, many of my parents know my cell number and I'll take calls as late at 8-9pm at night if that's what works for them. Oh, I could refuse to take calls when I am not at work or outside of my paid hours but often the very parents that I need to talk with don't even get home til after 7pm.

Summers seem like a great time for getting a job. Except that even in the good old days (before the recession) you're competing for seasonal work with tons of high school and college students. Now you have unemployed people trying for those jobs too. Any work that isn't seasonal is unlikely because they know you'll be gone in two months. Also, your job has to be flexible enough to fit the trainings in. In reality, I've tried for summer work before and anything barely over minimum wage is a luxury. Not that I mind flipping burgers for minimum wage but it's certainly not as if I can increase my income by 20% just by continuing to work in the summers. Teachers need that time off in ways that many people don't understand. That time to refocus and rejuvenate your spirit might be what it takes to survive the rest of the next year.

Tutoring dries up over the summer because parents and children aren't thinking of school. During the year, tutoring has to be crammed into your 50+ hour work week and it's hard. When I was tutoring as well, I wasn't getting more than 6 hours of sleep on any school night. I often got much less. Lack of sleep effects my ability to be a quality teacher in class the next day. So I eventually ruled that out. The money wasn't worth it anyway. You barely make anything and once you factor in travel time (if you have to go to their house) and everything else it hardly seems worth it for $20-$40 extra a week.

Summer school seems like an ok deal and it was. You picked up 5 extra weeks of pay. Except now you get no free time except 30 minutes of lunch and 15 before and after the kids leave. You are expected to provide and pay for ALL supplies you need to teach. That's right. You're stocking everything. The costs to provide materials for 5 weeks wipes a week or more of your pay out right there. You're also dealing with the most severe population of disabilities (only kids with disabilities get summer school these days and only those with the worst and most involved disabilities at that). It's a high stress job. And you're getting paid an hour and a half less a day (minus all the other costs) for the same amount, if not more, work that you do normally. It amazes me that they get any suckers at all for that job.

These days it's high stakes and high stress for both the kids and the teachers. I've had kids experience full nervous breakdowns when they found out they've been retained again because they didn't pass their tests. That's 3rd graders... literally unable to cope and just melting in front of you. I stress too because I choose to teach those students who are disabled (no I don't get any extra pay for that) and my job is on the line when a student is reading on the 2nd grade level but fails because he's taking the 6th grade reading tests. The test doesn't show that he was reading at a 1st grade level 7 months ago but has made more than a year's worth of growth because he still fails. They often don't stand a chance.

Despite that, I still make progress and I buck those odds every single year. I make that progress because I put in those extra 10-20 hours a week, each and every week, to find ways to make connections and progress with my students. But if I didn't do that, I would be out of my job because I wouldn't be effective. Those extra hours are really required. You need time to prepare for students without them there. You need to make every minute count. Anyone who has ever done a power-point presentation for a meeting will know that it took almost twice as much time before the meeting to prepare the power-point. You can't make it during the meeting. You have to do it before. If you only counted the time spent in the meeting, it wouldn't seem like much work at all. Teaching is a lot like that. And you can't use the same power-point over and over because it needs to be tailored to the specific needs of the kids you have that year. That tweaking is a lot of that extra time. My first couple years, I was working closer to 70-80 hour weeks to try and get things right.

Then we deal with all the "non-school" stuff. Child abuse, neglect, hunger, poverty, etc. I've gone into the projects looking for a student's mother only to find her strung out on "who knows what" behind some building. And that kid is supposed to focus on school? I could write a book on stuff like that alone. And it comes at an emotional cost. That should come with hazard pay. The things your children tell their teachers. If only parents really knew. I know who mommy caught daddy sleeping with and why their aunt had to throw their cousin out so he's sleeping on their bedroom floor until things get better. I've had a second grader tell me, step by step, how to roll a blunt with hand motions. I've been afraid to call a parent because I worried for the physical safety of the child if they got in trouble. I've had children come in and tell me how horrible their parents think I am as a teacher and what their parents say I should or should not be doing. I've had parents physically threaten me because I won't just pass their child on to the next grade without them making the growth. I've also had students threaten my life. I've dodged chairs, desks, books, shoes, and a myriad array of other object that have been thrown at me in anger and frustration. I've had kids leave my room in handcuffs. I've cried over students. I've cried both at work and at home over them. I've never let them see me cry over them. To them, I am solid... a rock... someone they can count on and depend on. I am someone they can come to when they need help and they will get it. Maybe your child doesn't need that but many children do.

I think $50k/year is a start... for our "10-month" job. I think it's low but it's a start. I think teachers making $80k+ are probably being paid what they're worth. People don't value teachers enough. We take society's most valuable, but also roughest, asset and turn it into the future. That people feel teachers deserve to be paid less than trash collectors is a shame. Not that trash collectors aren't important too because they are. I love my job. I took a sharp cut in my expected income to do it because I love it. But I shouldn't have needed to. I was worth $75k+/year before I chose to be a teacher and, dammit, I still am worth that much or more!

Speaking of how little I actually make

2011-09-01T08:00:00.004-04:00

I was reading an article about pay for teachers in my state and in my county in particular. The author ran all the numbers, accounting for inflation, the 3% cut to fund our own retirement, pay freezes, and everything else.

In effect, the average teacher in [my] County began this new school year with a 10 percent decline in salary purchasing power, compared to 2006. Put another way: the average teacher’s standard of living, based on that school district salary, has had to be scaled back 10 percent (or made up through borrowing that 10 percent, or getting another job).

I find this number especially poignant because I was hired in 2006. So the numbers are pretty much a direct reflection of my reality. I can attest to the fact that things are pretty tight and constantly get tighter. I haven't needed to reduce my snowball payment but I've come close.

I honestly don't believe I can continue doing what I love with the money I currently make. If it gets even worse, I certainly couldn't continue to teach. I don't want to spend my entire life living such a spartan existence. I have looked into other fields and there is a good chance I'll make a career change eventually. At the very least, it would take a real cost of living adjustment each and every year (adjusted for my starting pay) to make me consider staying long term. I'm not even talking about a "raise" in my effective pay.

If I could get my expected raises, like I was told were there when I started, it wouldn't be bad. I would never be wealthy. I would be lower middle class. Maybe I wouldn't even be that high. How much do you need to make to be middle-class these days? I could at least be comfortable and afford to have a family.

Actually, it is that last line that kills me. Right now it is barely possible to have a family on my pay. And it isn't like I have benefits to compensate for the low pay. Not a single teacher I talked to at my school can afford to insure their children or spouse on the school's plans and their base pay. When I brought it up with the insurance people during the open enrollment they told me to put the kid on the state funded plan. That is a tax funded healthcare for people of low incomes or who can't afford insurance otherwise. The rates are based on your income. And then get my wife a job at a company that would offer her insurance. So we'd all be on different plans and my wife would need to work. There is no expectation that a teacher can live on one income and insure themselves and their family.

I want to have a family eventually but my current job doesn't promise a bright future in that respect. It is the main motivation I have to consider other positions.

Right now, I am keeping my job while the job market is so bad. But even when the economy improves, I doubt that being a teacher in my state and county would ever be a viable option.

No One Can Live on $31,000!

2011-08-31T09:23:00.004-04:00

I was discussing the news article about the School Superintendent who dropped his pay to $31,000 a year ($10,000 less than a first year teacher) with the person I teach with today. Her instant reaction, "No one can live on that much!" She even said that she spent like $20k a year on food alone! Is she exaggerating or do people really spend $1,600 a month on food?!?! That seems insane.

I challenged this point by saying that I live on less than that much (when you take my snowball amount from my income). Actually, it is almost exactly that if you look at things after taxes. If you take the after tax income of $31k ($25,252.25) and my after-tax income minus the extra I pay towards my debt... they're virtually identical. It might be even worse this year after my pay cut. I calculated that amount by putting my annual income in before accounting for any deductions but the standard one. So that amount doesn't include my pre-tax contributions.

Not only do I live on that amount but I save $150 a month (after tax) as well as $220 (pre-tax) towards savings and retirement. I also contribute $150 a month (pre-tax) to my HSA. All of those cut down on what I have to live on. So, in essence, I am surviving as if my income was less than $31,000 a year. I can definitely do this as a single guy. I could probably do it with my girlfriend and her son if I absolutely had to. I would have to reduce the amount I am saving and contributing to those funds. I wouldn't like that but I could do it. If we relied on my income alone, we would have to cut some luxuries like the cable TV, cell phone data, and probably internet speed (but we'd keep some access). It could be done.

Actually, if she didn't work at all, we could get rid of her car which would save us a ton on gas an insurance. So yeah, it could be done.

Is it "easy" to live on $31k a year? Not even as a single person. Is it "possible" to live on $31k a year? Yes, even as a family of three... it just takes planning, care, and effort.

Yesterday was a rough one

2011-08-30T07:20:00.002-04:00

I had a rough day with a student yesterday. I won't get into too many details but it ended with an hour long meeting with the student's guardians, administration, the other teacher in my room, and myself. It was stressful and exhausting.

I then had to run to the bank to deposit the money my girlfriend gave me to start paying me back. It wasn't good to have that money in my wallet. I like to spend cash. I had her son with me all afternoon. He sat quietly in the office while I was in my meeting so he got to play the Wii after we got home. I played with him for a little bit.

By the time his mom came home, I was wiped out. I was falling asleep on the couch. The dogs kept licking me and keeping me up so I moved to the spare bedroom to lay down for a while. I ended up falling into a dead sleep and not waking up until 5am this morning. That's almost 11 hours of sleep! I guess I needed it. I feel a lot better today.

I've had oatmeal and some almonds for breakfast (280 calories total). Now I am drinking a cup of tea and waiting for my turn to hop in the shower. Then I need to go for another hard day at work. I hope it's a better one.

This only appears unfrugal

2011-08-29T08:57:00.005-04:00

Here is a picture of my cabinet at school right now. Over the weekend I bought 64 cans of soda (40 Diet Cokes and 24 Diet Publix Cola). I brought them all into work today. I spent $16.86 on soda this weekend. Compared to buying my normal 2-liters, it was $6 more for the same amount of soda.

It looks unfrugal but I have a problem. I like to have a can of soda with lunch and while I walk out to recess with the students. In the first week of school, I bought a can of soda from the machines 4 of the 5 days. The machine sodas are $0.75 each. That adds up. These work out to just over $0.26 after tax. Over 64 days (assuming 1 soda per day), I would spend $48 buying from the machine. I save $31.14 by buying the soda and bringing it in myself.

There are possible ways this can blow up in my face. First, I could drink more than one soda a day. That would be more than I would drink if I bought them from the machine. In theory I still save money if I limit myself to two a day but I am going to try and stick to just one. I am taking one out each morning and putting it in the fridge so only one will be cold. Second, I could short-circuit the machine buying cycle by not carrying cash. That would force me to not buy any soda at all. And no soda is the cheapest option.

In a way, I have accepted a certain amount of defeat here. I am committing to my soda habit for a period of time. But it is an honest assessment of my desires. I like soda and having a can a day while eating my lunch and walking to recess is a small pleasure that I wish to indulge. It isn't the most frugal option but I've made it more frugal than it could be.

Recap of Summer Spending

2011-08-27T13:01:00.002-04:00

Here is a breakdown on my spending from June - August. It's not pretty. I have accounted for most stuff but left some miscellaneous stuff off (like the $40 in moving expenses for the UHaul). I have also removed the GF's share of the spending so this is almost all me. Granted, when it comes to eating out that is usually the both of us. But I end up paying most of the time so it isn't part of what she is paying back.

Carpets and Paint	$500
Gas	$699
Eating Out	$577
Shopping	$434 ???
Student Loans	$443
Utilities and Internet	$438
Puppy	$404+
Groceries	$246

Look at some of those numbers! I spent almost as much on "shopping" as I did on my student loans. But I have no idea what I actually bought. I am sure I could figure it out if I looked but that is insane. Oh, and some of that is puppy stuff that I forgot to itemize. His bowl, chain, and some toys are in the shopping amounts but aren't itemized.

Which brings me to the "Puppy" expense. This "$45" dog has cost me well over $400 at this point. That's vet bills, vaccinations, his crate, food, toys, collar, leash, replacing a cable he chewed through, and so on. I don't want you to "get me wrong." I love my little guy and I don't regret getting him. Still, if someone had told me that I'd plow through $400+ in the first couple months of ownership, I might have reconsidered the timing.

I've ranted about the carpets and paint plenty of times on here. Yeah, it was a big chunk of change. At the same time, it made my house a home for the first time since I moved in. My walls are painted and my bedrooms are comfortable and carpeted. It was probably a necessary expense and we kept that cost as low as possible.

The big budget buster is the eating out. Compare that to my "groceries" item. It is just insane! This does include my vacation up north and various other things but I eat out way too much. I can cook at home and I cook great meals. I just need to stay motivated and do it. I spent more on eating out in the last 3 months than I had budgeted for food in total for that time!

Rainy Friday

2011-08-26T10:05:00.004-04:00

I suppose I shouldn't complain because the hurricane is going to miss Florida. But, at the same time, this means I have to work and it is still going to rain. Rainy days are the worst days to be a teacher. We can't go outside for recess! You have no idea how important going outside for recess is to me and my students. We will survive but I am not looking forward to it.

This morning has not been good. I had an egg and toast but then at work I had a bagel and some cereal. With my lunch, I figure I am going to be around 700 calories before I even get home today. I am just hungry. I suppose I could even have the oatmeal I brought and go to 830 calories while at work. That would still leave me 570 for the evening and that is plenty. I just don't want to leave myself starving tonight.

I haven't been playing a lot of poker lately. I have been busy with work. I also had that big slump after cashing out (still down about $100) and that sucks away my motivation to play. I am reading a lot of strategy books and articles and just taking a break from playing for the moment. The cash-out I requested on 8/8/11 still hasn't been approved. That stinks but it's not the end of the world. It will come eventually. I really should try and play a little this weekend though.

In the realm of credit card rewards, the new card only lets me cash out in $25 chunks. So I cashed out $100 yesterday. The $110 is in my checking account today. I still have a little over $12 in rewards sitting there and it won't be too long before I run those up over $25 to be able to cash them in.

I have $9.75 in my checking account until pay day, next Friday. I will be fine. All I really need is gas and that goes on the gas credit card anyway.